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  The Past Is Red

  Catherynne M. Valente

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  The future is blue—endless blue… except for a few small places that float across the hot, drowned world left behind by long-gone fossil fuel-guzzlers. One of those patches is a magical place called Garbagetown. Tetley Abednego is the most beloved girl in Garbagetown, but she’s the only one who knows it. She’s the only one who knows a lot of things: that Garbagetown is the most wonderful place in the world, that it’s full of hope, that you can love someone and 66% hate them all at the same time. But Earth is a terrible mess, hope is a fragile thing, and a lot of people are very angry with her. Then Tetley discovers a new friend, a terrible secret, and more to her world than she ever expected.

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  Confessions to My Mother

  Cathy Guisewite

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  For years, Cathy and her mother have been working out their relationship on the comic pages in such an honest, relatable, humor-filled way that thousands of mothers and daughters have written to say the comic strip is the single thing that has helped them keep speaking to each other over the years. In Confessions to My Mother, Cathy helps daughters speak to their mothers in an even more poignant way--with page after page of everything from embarrassing truths..."The last time you came to visit I spent a whole day hiding things before you got here."to belated admissions...I'm sorry for the 10 to 15 years I spent grunting at you."to personal revelations...The inside of my bathroom cabinet looks exactly as bad as the inside of your bathroom cabinet."and heartfelt sentiments.."When I make your chicken soup, it doesn't taste like your chicken soup.""The thing I am the most sure of in my life is that you love me.""Because of you, I can't throw out a cardboard box."According to creator Cathy Guisewite, Confessions to My Mother is "all the deep, insightful, meaningful things I want to say to Mom, but never actually say because I'm too busy acting like a five-year-old when I'm with her."

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  The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

  Washington Irving

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  One of the first noted American authors to be highly acclaimed in Europe during his life time, Washington Irving (April 3, 1783 – November 28, 1859) wrote numerous short stories, biographies, histories, and tales of his travels. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," first published in 1820, is variously regarded as a Gothic tale and a modern folk story about the early history of the United States of America.  The story is most famous for the strange encounter between a superstitious schoolmaster named Ichabod Crane and the ghost of the Headless Horseman, said to be a Hessian soldier who lost his head to a cannon ball during the Revolutionary War. He is believed to be always in search of his head.  Many of Irving's works have inspired adaptations to the stage and film. It was Irving who affixed the nickname "Gotham" — an Anglo-Saxon word meaning "Goat's Town" — to New York City.  The spirited narration is by Oscar nominated an Emmy Award Winning Special Makeup Effects Artist, Edward E. French.

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  Our Mr Wrenn the Romantic...

  Sinclair Lewis

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  "At thirty-four Mr. Wrenn was the sales-entry clerk of the Souvenir Company. He was always bending over bills and columns of figures at a desk behind the stock-room. He was a meek little bachelor--a person of inconspicuous blue ready-made suits, and a small unsuccessful mustache." Mr. Wrenn, however has a rich inner life embellished by his own imagination. When he comes into a modest inheritance, he feels he ought to learn to get out and wander a bit, and then his education begins. He finds life more "interesting", perhaps than he had "imagined". . . (Introduction by Don Jenkins)

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  Mooses with Bazookas

  S. D. Smith

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  Mooses with Bazookas: And Other Stories Children Should Never Read is a fun collection of stories. It’s exactly like The Count of Monte Cristo apart from the many differences. Our lawyers have instructed us to warn you that reading it may directly cause you to come down with every single disease you are worried about contracting. On the plus side, our nation’s beloved and heroic critics have had their say.“FANTASTIC is not a word that comes to mind.”—Beth Hinkle, author of Elite Prose“ASTOUNDING problems at the sentence level and beyond.”—Dr. Roger Johns, Ph. D.“S. D. SMITH IS in dire need of A GENIUS editor.”—Art Simonson, Inner Ring Magazine“This author had nothing MUCH BETTER to do THAN destroy the language of DICKENS, SHAKESPEARE, AUSTEN!”—Yammy Tork, Good Lit GuildS. D. Smith has been called “America’s aft-most wordsmith” and is the award-losing author of more than ten books and less than thirty-seven books. He is half-man, half-rabbit, and half-mathematician. He lives in West Virginia with his wife and four children, because it would be kinda weird to live with some other family and super weird not to live in West Virginia.

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  How to Honey Boo Boo - The...

  Family Shannon & Thompson,...

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  From the moment they met Alana Thompson, Americans from coast to coast fell under the spell of the pint-size pageant queen and her loud and proud family. Now, in this authorized guide infused with their down-to-earth redneck style, disarming humor, and homespun values, Mama, Sugar Bear, Honey Boo Boo, Pumpkin, Chickadee, and Chubbs show how you, too, can be a "redneckognized" Southern belle and an honorary member of the Shannon/Thompson clan. How to Honey Boo Boo features everything you need to know:Cookin ' Like Mama: Decorate, diet, barbecue, coupon, and cook like June with recipes for "sketti," roadkill BBQ, lemonade, "marannaise sammich," and more.Fun And Games: From the Redneck Games and June's famous mani-pedis to Christmas in July, relax redneck-style.How To Be A Beautimous Queen: Discover Honey Boo Boo's pageant secrets: makeup and fashion tips and advice on great costumes so you can be a supa star and rock dat stage!Everything But The Kitchen SinK: Hilarious tales, how-tos, DIY projects, and lists of things to do, plus behind-the-scenes stories, family photos, secrets of Glitzy the pampered pet pig, and more!Talk Like Hone Y Boo Boo: A Redneckopedia with essential vocabulary like "redneckognize," "vajiggle-jaggle," "old man glue," and more.Oh Yeah or No Way? Do you know a "forklift foot" from a "neck crust"? Test your Honey Boo Boo knowledge with fun quizzes on the Honey Boo Boo way of life.

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