The Praetorian Prostitutes - A hilarious and romantic romp through irresistibly sexy military history

Mikey Clarke

Summary

"This was brilliant to read - really great pace and characters. The ending was tense!" https://sarahjanebarnett.net/, editor and author

IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history's Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and oodles more frisky cunnilingus contests.

Continuing from Part Three, the CERVICAL SUPREMACY: mikeyclarke.co.nz/apocalypse/3-cervical-supremacy …

The story so far: France's new Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot yearns to drown the world's free nations in delicious French darkness. The Royal Marines Sex Commandos stealthed into Paris to kick her ass. Our correspondent alone scampered from her trap.

But turns out the lone route Home is within France's own invasion. Yeah. Join the French Army. But! They're radiant! They're frisky! Charlie's adored spending SOVIET SLUTS SUPERB and CERVICAL SUPREMACY strutting his funky stuff as the exotic Louisiana hotshot the Seminal Sorcerer. He knows it's bullshit, but god DAMN bullshitting is fun.

Half of France adores this gorgeous foreign volcano. Local flirt-champs queue to duel him. Marshals invite him to torture captured Sex Commandos. And the meteoric Alsatian prodigy "Sweetling" Yasmine attempts to seduce, duel, marry, enslave, fingerblast, and spoon him, all at once.

Oh sure, subsuming the Sorceror shall skyrocket Yasmine to Imperial Greatness. But god DAMN he's dreamy. He makes her feel ever so gooey and pliant. He melts her without trying or even knowing. She dreads it and she craves it. Yasmine MUST annihilate this dazzling rival before she just can't.

And worse. Paris's furious cops are HUNTING Charlie.

He reckons it's time for Plan B. B for Bullshit. Why not squander his collapsing celeb glamour on HIS terms?

A thrilling bullshit rampage back against Paris, perhaps? Bullshit free the entire captured Sex Commando strike force? Bullshit free every other political prisoner and captured mercenary in France?

And it'll only mean shattering the trust and breaking the hearts of his paramil paramours.

Will the Sexyverse's final hope perish forever in the heart of Darkest France? Or will Charlie's desperate matey dice-roll hit the Bullshit Jackpot?

Find out!

In Part Five!

The CALIPHATE OF THE BULLSHIT MUSLIMS: [link coming soon]

(But read this Part Four first)

Available since: 04/01/2024.

Print length: 202 pages.

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