I Love Rock N' Roll - A 15-Minute 90s Midwest Nostalgia Coming-of-Age Short Story

Lyle Durst

Summary

EXCERPT
 
When Benny came back downstairs, Dena was gone. He peered out toward the pool area to see if she was talking to her parents, but saw nobody at the table where they had been. He walked out to the pool area, cupping his sketchbook under his wrist as if hiding it. Most the people in the party were crowded around the pool, cheering loudly. As Benny worked his way through the crowd, he bumped his head on more than one of the "cornhead" foam hats partygoers were wearing. A group of burly college-age men were preparing a ritual sacrifice of an inflatable alligator, in effigy of the mascot of the University of Florida. The crowd was chanting "Go Huskers! Go Huskers!" as three men were circling the floating alligator. Benny joined in the chant, scanning the crowd in the unlikely event he'd find Dena there. A man straddling the gator lifted his arms above his head, and yelling "Huskers!" plunged downward with a broken beer bottle, into the gator. The gator deflated and the man gently sunk until standing on the floor of the pool. The crowd chanted "Huskers! Huskers!" and the executioner lifted his arms in celebration, the broken bottle still in his hand. He was bleeding from a cut on his forearm, but didn't seem to notice or care.

Available since: 06/24/2023.

Print length: 11 pages.

Humor

Other books that might interest you

F*ck You I'm Irish - Why We...

Rashers Tierney

An in-your-face collection of trivia that’s sure to inspire chest-thumping pride in everyone of Irish descent. 
 
Is there anyone who does not think the Irish are the greatest people on Earth? Before stepping outside to convince them, first peacefully impart upon any misinformed bar patrons the incontrovertible evidence presented in F*ck You, I’m Irish. Amazing accomplishment or astounding person, if it bleeds kelly green and it’s feckin’ great, it’s in this book. 
 
  
 
Irish pride has sparked parades, breakfast cereal, beer, riots, international holidays, the fame of Liam Neeson, sports mascots, more beer, and now, this fun and fascinating book. In its pages, Irish culture, history, and general weirdness come to life with snappy entries on everything from snake-chasing saints, cute hoors, and ruthless independence fighters to acclaimed authors, superstar rock bands, and fair-skinned super models. 
 
Forget about the leprechaun dolls, T-shirts, hats, wigs, and green beer that people buy every St. Paddy’s Day! With true stories of immigrant struggles, rollicking wakes, hurling shenanigans, and Guinness-fueled escapades, F*ck You, I’m Irish offers a far better way to celebrate one’s heritage than a manky “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” button.

Show book

Cats On The Run - a wickedly...

Ged Gillmore

Tuck and Ginger are two cats who really get on each other's nerves.
But they'll need to pause the claws to escape from the apartment where they're trapped. And escape they must, for their kidnappers are two warty witches who plan to magic Tuck and Ginger's body parts together to build the best witches' cat in the world: a black Purrari.
Tuck (who's a few granules short of a litter-tray) and Ginger (a former street fighter who's now a flabby tabby), will need to work together if they're to escape alive and find their way back to their faraway home.
The clock is ticking and the cauldron is bubbling. Will our frightened felines manage to flee before they're zapped in the cat co-mingling spell?
Hold on tight! You're about to begin the adventure of a lifetime.
Cats On The Run is a wickedly funny adventure story adored by children of all ages. If you like magical mayhem, flying fur and hilarious misadventure, then this tale is for you!
__________________________________________
PRAISE FOR CATS ON THE RUN:
'Such a funny book for kids aged 8 to 12 or any adults who want a good laugh. It's witty and clever.' -- The Mummy Project
'Laugh-aloud funny, quirky and original.' -- Buzzword Books
*FIVE STARS* -- Scholastic Reader Review Crew
‘One of the funniest books I have read since Skulduggery Pleasant. The sheer pun-tasticness of it made it a very enjoyable read. Recommended for ages 8+.’ – Bleach House Library
‘Wonderful characters, Entertaining, Action-packed, Funny, Whimsical.’ – Goodreads
__________________________________________
Cats On The Run - begin the adventure today!

Show book

The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914?), satirist, critic, poet, short story writer and journalist. His fiction showed a clean economical style often sprinkled with subtle cynical comments on human behaviour. In the Devil's Dictionary, he let his sense of humour and his cynical outlook on life colour a collection of dictionary-like definitions. (Summary by Peter)

Show book

The Takeover

Cara Tanamachi

On Nami’s thirtieth birthday, she’s reminded at every turn that her life isn’t what she’d planned. She’s always excelled at everything—until now. Her fiancé blew up their engagement. Her pride and joy, the tech company she helped to found, is about to lose funding. And her sister, Sora, is getting married to the man of her dreams, Jack—and instead of being happy for her, as Nami knows she ought to be, she’s fighting off jealousy.Frustrated with her life, she makes a wish on a birthday candle to find her soulmate. Instead the universe delivers her hate mate, Nami’s old nemesis, Jae Lee, the most popular kid from her high school, who also narrowly beat her out for valedictorian. More than a decade later, Jae is still as effortlessly cool, charming, and stylish as ever, and, to make matters worse, he’s planning a hostile takeover of her start-up. Cue sharp elbows and even sharper banter as the two go head-to-head to see who’ll win this time. But when their rivalry ignites a different kind of passion, Nami starts to realize it’s not just her company that’s in danger of being taken over, but her heart as well.

Show book

Dog War

Anthony C. Winkler

A novel of a Jamaican woman’s adventures, from an author with “a fine ear for patois and dialogue, and a love of language that makes bawdy jokes crackle” (The New Yorker).   “An acclaimed comic novelist in his native Jamaica, Winkler makes a long overdue American debut with this laugh riot. His heroine is Precious Higginson, a Christian Jamaican woman of 47 whose conventional worldview and proud, pious manner make her unintentionally funny. After her husband dies unexpectedly, Precious moves in with her son and his wife, but pudding-loving Precious and her health-nut daughter-in-law quickly turn the house into a war zone. It’s off to America then to stay with her daughter, a Miami police officer, and her hairdressing husband, Henry . . . After Henry makes a pass, Precious takes a job as live-in housekeeper at a Fort Lauderdale mansion. There, she cares for a spoiled dog, Riccardo; argues with Riccardo’s animal rights zealot owner, Mistress Lucy, who declares Precious ‘speciest’ for failing to appreciate it when Riccardo pees on her new shoes . . . Precious learns much about the limits of piety as the indignities mount and her beliefs are challenged in increasingly outrageous ways. Winkler’s wit, his ear for dialect and the sublime creation that is Precious add up to one howlingly funny book.” —Publishers Weekly

Show book

Offed in the Orchids

Dale Mayer

Book 15: Lovely Lethal GardensRiches to rags … Finally it’s calm … At least for the moment … If she’s lucky …Needing a break from all the murder and mayhem, Doreen and Mack plan an outing to see the local orchid show. Some of the displays are in the community center, but the more prized specimens of this genus require a visit to some of the gardeners’ homes, a rare opportunity not afforded to everyone.This trip, not quite a date, affords Doreen a chance to enjoy not only the company of Mack but to get to know a few more of the colorful locals. But, when one of these locals ends up dead just after their visit, the dark underbelly of orchid growing is exposed and, with it, an old murder, … not to mention another new one.Doreen and Mack just can’t catch a break. But can they catch a killer before he kills again?

Show book