Mama for President - Good Lord Why Not?

Vicki Lawrence, Monty Aidem, Thelma Harper

Summary

The Mama’s Family and The Carol Burnett Show character offers a humorous look at what it would be like if she were president of the United States. 
 
Listen Up, America! The solution to your problems has plopped right in your lap. Mama is running for president! Discover how President Thelma Harper would handle:Immigration—I’ll tell you how we solve the problem at our border: build senior citizen housing all along the American side. No one sees more than a nosy old lady peeking through her window blinds.Emergency Preparedness—Emergency response should be in the hands of the experts who have the resources and determination to respond quickly. I’m talking about Domino’s and Pizza Hut.Airport Security—As long as we have to take our shoes off, I will install a shoe-buffing brush inside the X-ray machine so your shoes will get a little shine as they go through.Animals—If I have a dog at the White House, I will have it spayed or neutered to control its sex drive, which is something that might have been a good idea for some of our previous presidents. 
 
Thelma Harper is running for president, and the free world will never be the same!

Available since: 05/20/2008.

Print length: 175 pages.

Other books that might interest you

Relationship - Understand...

Steve Pavlina

This is a collection of writings by the world famous author Steve Pavlina. The following topics are contained in this audio recording:    1. UNDERSTANDING HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS  2. MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD  3. HOW TO HELP NEGATIVE PEOPLE  4. HOW TO DECIDE WHEN TO END A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP  5. UNDERSTANDING FAMILY RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS  6. RIDICULOUSLY REWARDING RELATIONSHIPS

Show book

The Brazilian - brilliantly...

Rosie Millard

'Hilariously observed… a much-welcomed comedy of manners.' Jane Green, New York Times Bestselling author
Perfect for fans of Rachel Johnson and Claire Sandy, The Brazilian offers a much-needed dose of celeb scandal for fans of Love Island and other reality TV shows.
Following a sensational scandal at one of London's most desired postcodes, Jane and Patrick decide to escape the gossip with a family holiday to Ibiza, their eight-year-old son George in tow.
Also on the island that week is a TV reality show involving an eccentric artist, a horny It Girl, a Brazilian footballer and a famous magician.
As hapless celebrities are picked off one by one, Jane is desperate to be on the programme, leaving childcare in the not so capable hands of a teenager.
One lesbian escapade and an explosive row over hair removal later, the contestants of Ibiza or Bust leave the island with more than sand in places they never knew existed...
'Quirky... and real fun too!' The Independent
'Worthy of Trollope, Austen and Arnold Bennett' Mature Times
'Pin-sharp and wickedly funny' Adam Foulds
'Shot through with wit... Punctures the tawdry and vacuous world of Reality TV with a racy, pacy wit. ' Jonathan Maitland

'A hilarious bit of escapism. The perfect accessory forany beach vacation.' Jo Piazza
'Packed with sun, scandal and crackling humour, this is a beach read full of belly laughs.' Chrissie Manby

'The Brazilian is what happens when Wish you were here? meets I’m a Celebrity: Rosie Millard’s well-observed island romp depicts the ultimate all-inclusive fortnight in Ibiza. A fun, fast-paced read ideal for a summer getaway' Simon Calder, Travel Journalist & Broadcaster
'Hilarious naughty fun - The Brazilian could not have been a more perfect companion for the beach!' Lucy Sykes
'An irresistible energy pulsates through Rosie Millard's latest novel. She capture the foibles and follies of her characters with a wry humour that is hard to resist.' Mark Palmer, Daily Mail

Show book

Abbott and Costello: Boxing -...

Bud Abbott, Lou Costello

Bud and Lou talk about boxing. Lou wants to be married. Bud tells Lou stories of his family and then Veloa joins in the fun.

Show book

Fonging for the World

Jefferson Glassie

This audiobook Fonging for the World, narrated by five time Grammy winner Roy 'Futureman' Wooten, tells the fictional story of several musicians traveling around the globe attempting to bring peace to the world through a crazy musical and spiritual practice called fonging, i.e., by tapping into the healing sounds of the universe through the use of oven racks and other implements. The book explores transcendent topics, such as vibrational healing, synergies, telepathy, and plant medicines, to demonstrate that humans can overcome fear and insecurities to help achieve peace of mind individually as well as peace and harmony for the world.  This audio version of the book Fonging for the World read by Roy Wooten is a complement to the Full Soundtrack version of the audiobook and book with the same title.

Show book

Plum Lucky - A Stephanie Plum...

Janet Evanovich

Looking to get lucky? 
Stephanie Plum is back between-the-numbers and she's looking to get lucky in an Atlantic City hotel room, in a Winnebago, and with a brown-eyed stud who has stolen her heart. 
Stephanie Plum has a way of attracting danger, lunatics, oddballs, bad luck...and mystery men. And no one is more mysterious than the unmentionable Diesel. He's back and hot on the trail of a little man in green pants who's lost a giant bag of money. Problem is, the money isn't exactly lost. Stephanie's Grandma Mazur has found it, and like any good Jersey senior citizen, she's hightailed it in a Winnebago to Atlantic City and hit the slots. With Lula and Connie in tow, Stephanie attempts to bring Grandma home, but the luck of the Irish is rubbing off on everyone: Lula's found a job modeling plus-size lingerie. Connie's found a guy. Diesel's found Stephanie. And Stephanie has found herself in over her head with a caper involving thrice-stolen money, a racehorse, a car chase, and a bad case of hives.  
Plum Lucky is an all-you-can-eat buffet of thrills, chills, shrimp cocktail, plus-size underwear, and scorching hot men. It's a between-the-numbers treat no Evanovich fan will want to miss!A Macmillan Audio production.

Show book

The Radioactive Redhead - with...

John Zakour, Lawrence Ganem

Everyone’s favorite sci-fi PI is back on the beat in this third Nuclear Bombshell mystery. Includes the prequel novella, The Peach-Blonde Bomber!

After a chance encounter at a Kabuki theater, Zach Johnson has reluctantly agreed to lend a hand to Sexy Sprockets, 2060’s most fabulously famous pop-singer. Sexy has received a slew of death threats from an obsessive fan intent on making sure her ascendant career is cut short. In the guise of Sexy’s bodyguard, Zach enters the dizzying world of showbiz to uncover Sexy’s stalker before he can make good on his threats.

Together with his sentient super-computer, HARV, and his psionic assistant, Carol, Zach must use all his PI wisdom to ensnare the would-be killer. At the same time, world famous media mogul Rupert Roundtree has positioned Zach as the unwilling star of his next great reality series, entitled Let’s Kill Zach. Zach will need to stay one step ahead of the murderous mogul if he’s going to save the imperiled pop singer.

Praise for the Nuclear Bombshell mysteries

“A wild and crazy adventure that blends noir detective fiction and far-out future SF to create a tongue-in-cheek, thoroughly enjoyable story.” —SF Site

“Surprisingly clever . . . spoofs the genre and everything else in sight.” —Science Fiction Chronicle

“Abbott and Costello meet a futuristic crime noir . . . readers will laugh until they cry.” —AllReaders.com

“A fun romp through cyberspace and the future Earth . . . I enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek look at the future of private investigation.” —MyShelf.com

Show book