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  Almost straight down The Middle

  Chris Plumridge

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  The only simple thing about golf, says Chris Plumridge, is that it's relatively easy to spell. For the past 25 years he has been chronicling the quirks, foibles and human frailties which complicate this most fascinating and frustrating of games in a style that has won him a host of admirers.

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  Idiots in Love - Chronicles of...

  Leland Gregory

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  Here's best-selling humor writer Leland Gregory's sixth collection about everyday idiots-and this time they're in love! Readers are guaranteed to feel better about their own romantic misadventures after reading these jaw-dropping, hilarious tales.Many people do crazy things in the name of love, but some people take things way too far. From failed seductions to botched proposals, from disturbing displays of affection to misguided marriages, Idiots in Love chronicles the stupid things falling in love (or falling out of it) can drive people to do:* A female Coca-Cola employee became engaged to a Pepsi employee, and Coke demanded that she break it off, persuade her fiance to leave Pepsi, or resign from Coca-Cola. She refused and was terminated, but she later won a $600,000 settlement from the company.* A woman in Hardwick, Georgia, divorced her husband on the grounds that he "stayed home too much and was too affectionate."* A couple started divorce proceedings after 90 minutes of marriage.* A Norwegian woman hid a ring in her boyfriend's porridge to propose marriage to him, but he accidentally ate the ring. Fortunately, he accepted the proposal anyway.* In Whitesville, Delaware, it is illegal for a woman to propose to a man.* A European survey revealed that one in nine people admit to sending themselves Valentine's Day cards.Once again, Leland Gregory finds the absolute best and funniest anecdotes and one-liners that will have readers rolling with laughter at the amorous antics of idiots in love.

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  The Love Book - A Novel

  Nina Solomon

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  “Fans of Sarah Dessen and Mary Kay Andrews will enjoy this grown-up Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, a story of risk, reward, loss, and love” (Booklist).   A Publishers Weekly Pick of the Week and a New York Post Required Reading Pick   It all starts when four unsuspecting women, on a singles’ bike trip through Normandy, discover a mysterious red book about love. But did they discover it—or did the book bring them together? Somehow the possibly magical Love Book will insinuate itself into Emily’s, Beatrice’s, Max’s, and Cathy’s lives, which so far haven’t turned out exactly the way society, their families, or they themselves have planned. Along the way, they’ll be nudged, cajoled, inspired—perhaps even “guided”—in spite of themselves to discover love, fulfillment, and the true nature of being a soul mate.   “The Love Book should come with a warning: Do not begin unless you can afford to finish it—today. I could not, and did not, put it down. A contemporary Jane Austen, Nina Solomon has written a smart and funny book about what it’s like to be a woman, no longer young but not yet old and still single, looking for love in all the wrong places, only to find life. I laughed out loud so often I was downright downcast when I reached the last page and had to give up the good company of these wonderful characters.” —Beverly Donofrio, author of Astonished: A Story of Healing and Finding Grace   “Happy endings abound in this novel about the power of love and friendship.” —Kirkus Reviews   “A compelling mix of story lines . . . Plenty of good banter and characterization.” —Publishers Weekly

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  Women Are Crazy Men Are Stupid -...

  Jenny Lee, Howard J. Morris

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  Since the dawn of time, when the first smitten caveboy tried to woo the object of his affections by shoving her into the mud, men have demonstrated that when it comes to women, they are profoundly stupid. And when it comes to men, women-no matter how intelligent or mature-are completely crazy.Based on this simple yet groundbreaking insight, comedy writers and real-life couple Howard J. Morris and Jenny Lee have devised a relationship guide that is refreshingly honest, completely hilarious, and surprisingly practical. Using their own crazy/stupid romance as an example of these forces in action, they set out to explain why women ask questions that they absolutely do not want answered-and why men persist in answering them. What are men really thinking-or crucially, not thinking? Why do women view even the most mundane events through an emotional prism? Why do guys suck at being romantic? And why does every conversation with a woman lead back to whether or not she's fat?Using wit, hard-earned wisdom, and a highly entertaining he said/she said format, the authors explore the surprising method to his dumbness and the valid reasons behind her insanity, while providing real solutions to perennial relationship problems. By teaching men how and why they're stupid around women, and showing women how to "control the crazy" for everybody's sake, Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid helps couples to reach the place where giving isn't giving in, needing isn't needy, and where the sexes can break the dysfunctional patterns and find a way to live lovingly, happily ever after.

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  Abbott and Costello: English Butler

  Bud Abbott, Lou Costello

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  Abbott and Costello visit the Hugo Gessit Employment Agency to hire a butler. Treacher visits Costello before the visit of Lynn Bari next week.

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  Highland Falls - [Unabridged...

  Blag Dahlia

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  Punk rock legend Blag Dahlia returns with his third transgressive novel Highland FallsNina West is a deceptively petite young trickster who works at a funeral home in the suburban Illinois town of Highland Falls. Her short-term boyfriend Ace fronts the Dunderhearts, a band so unlistenable that only constant infusions of cocaine can make them tolerable. Ace’s grandfather Fredo owns the home and lets the band practice in the basement amid the corpses and formaldehyde while Ace drives the family Hearse.Nina’s brush with a Bolivian consulate official brings so much of South America’s favorite export into their orbit that Dunderheart’s bass player Lex, the only cute one in the band, drops dead just as Nina is about to have her way with him. Meanwhile, just down the street, Ricky Leiber returns to Highland Falls to claim the family home his parents have left him after their untimely demise. Looking forward to a life of anonymous indolence and television addiction, Ricky falls for Nina at his folk’s funeral. Ricky falls hopelessly in love with Nina, while Nina remains hopelessly in love with herself.From the suburban wastelands of Highland Falls, Illinois, all roads finally lead to Hollywood where a blood-soaked massacre vaults Nina to instant stardom and worldwide acclaim. It’s a happy ending guaranteed to captivate a miserable generation.

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