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  Willow's Wedding Vows - A Laugh...

  Debbie Viggiano

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  Wedding vows have never been this personal…Willow has been living with marriage-shy Charlie for more years than she cares to remember and is old-fashioned enough to want a wedding band and a loads-of-sex honeymoon before stretchmarks and nipple shields. So when the once-wary Charlie surprisingly goes down on one knee, Willow doesn't question why her boyfriend is suddenly so keen to rush her into saying “I do”. The first clue comes as Willow is zipped into her Cinderella dress, the second as she bobs into the wedding car, and the third as the Roller swings towards its fairy-tale destination… leaving a shell-shocked Willow desperately trying to figure out what to do next.

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  Three Men and a Maid

  P. G. Wodehouse

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  This book with two titles, Three Men and a Maid in the USA and The Girl on the Boat in the UK is a typical PG Wodehouse romantic comedy, involving, at various times: a disastrous talent quest, a lawyer with a revolver, a bulldog with a mind of his own and a suit of armour!The maid, or marriageable young woman, of the American title is red-haired, dog-loving Wilhelmina "Billie" Bennet. The three men are Bream Mortimer, a long-time friend and admirer of Billie, Eustace Hignett, a poet of sensitive disposition who is engaged to Billie at the opening of the tale, and Sam Marlowe, Eustace's would-be-dashing cousin, who falls for Billie at first sight. All four find themselves on an ocean liner headed for England together (hence the British title), along with an elephant-gun-wielding young woman called Jane Hubbard who is smitten with Eustace the poet. Typically Wodehousian romantic shenanigans ensue. Even Estace's redoubtable mother (a Theosophist author and public speaker) fails to quell the excitement.(Summary by WikiPedia, adapted by Tim Bulkeley.)

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  Duck the Halls

  Donna Andrews

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  A few nights before Christmas, Meg is awakened when Michael is summoned to the New Life Baptist Church, where someone has rigged a cage full of skunks in the choir loft. The lengthy process of de-skunking the church requires its annual pre-Christmas concert to relocate to Trinity Episcopal, despite the protests of Mr. Vess, an elderly vestryman. Meanwhile, when Meg helps her grandfather take the skunks to the zoo, they discover that his boa has been stolen - only to turn up later during the concert slithering out from the ribbon-bedecked evergreens. It's clear that some serious holiday pranksters are on the loose, and Meg is determined to find them. But before she can, a fire breaks out at Trinity, and Mr. Vess is discovered dead.

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  The Eternal Footman

  James Morrow

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  Can civilization survive the untimely demise of God? “A buoyant romp . . . superlatively intelligent and entertaining” (The Baltimore Sun).   Completing the World Fantasy Award–winning author’s darkly comic trilogy, The Eternal Footman brings us into a future world in which God’s skull is in orbit, competing with the moon, and a plague of “death awareness” spreads across the Western hemisphere. As the United States sinks into apocalypse, two people fight to preserve life and sanity. One is Nora Burkhart, a schoolteacher who will stop at nothing to save her only son, Kevin. The other is the genius sculptor Gerard Korty, who struggles to create a masterwork that will heal the metaphysical wounds of the age.   A few highlights: a bloody battle on a New Jersey golf course between Jews and anti-Semites; a theater troupe’s stirring dramatization of the Gilgamesh epic; and a debate between Martin Luther and Erasmus. And a chilling villain in the person of Dr. Adrian Lucido—founder of a new pagan church in Mexico, and inventor of a cure worse than any disease . . .   “Morrow hilariously joins the ranks of the great satirists.” —The Denver Post   “[An] insanely ingenious plot, reminiscent, variously, of B-science-fiction movies in the 1950s, Evelyn Waugh’s The Loved One, and Terry Southern at his most charmingly deranged.” —Kirkus Reviews   “Any novel that springs from a sparkling intellect rather than a dreary neurosis is cause for celebration, and The Eternal Footman, with its load of truth and laughter, justifies a considerable quantity of champagne.” —Tom Robbins, New York Times–bestselling author of Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

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  Birds Aren't Real - The True...

  Peter McIndoe, Connor Gaydos

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  This program is read by the authors. The true story of the greatest conspiracy in US history—and how to fight back.Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? You haven’t, have you? No one has, not in many, many years. They used to be everywhere. You couldn’t walk out of your front door in New York City in the 1930s without seeing dozens of those little guys scurrying around. Today, there are millions of grown up pigeons in New York, but not a baby pigeon to be seen. That’s because they come out of the factory as adults.This is one of the many smoking guns of the bird drone surveillance crisis. Since 1959, the Deep State has mercilessly slaughtered over 12 billion birds and replaced them with identical drones that are designed to spy on private citizens and report their every action directly to the government. From pet canaries to Sesame Street, the shadowy figures that pull the strings have infiltrated every aspect of our society, making a mockery of civil liberties while the American people live in blissful ignorance. Until now.In Birds Aren’t Real, whistleblowers Peter McIndoe and Connor Gaydos trace the roots of a political conspiracy so vast and well-hidden that it almost seems like an elaborate hoax. These hero Bird Truthers have risked life and limb to compile and disseminate a treasure trove of information about the origins of the surveillance crisis, its spread, and the patriots who are on the front lines today, raising awareness and working to reclaim America as the land of the free. This urgent manifesto features a host of useful illustrations, activities, and leaked classified documents that will convince even the most outspoken skeptic that birds aren’t real. The truth is out there: will you stand and fight before it’s too late?A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

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  The Big Book of Women's Trivia

  Alicia Alvrez

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  Funny facts, stunning stats, and historical tidbits about the female of the species.Did you know that . . . Women outnumber men by five to one in shoplifting convictions? The very first Artichoke Queen was Marilyn Monroe in 1947? Diamonds didn’t become a girl’s best friend until the thirteenth century? (Before that, they were for men only.) The first human cannonball was female? The cocktail known as the Bloody Mary was named after a notorious English queen? Research shows that men change their minds two to three times more than women?The Big Book of Women’s Trivia arms you with little-known facts in a fabulous collection that spans history, crosses cultures, and ranges from the silly to the salacious to the truly useful. Chapters include: Women and Their Wardrobes The Body Beautiful—and Not So • Ladies’ Matters of Love • In the Ladies’ Room • Ladies Look at the Animal Kingdom • Women Doing It for Themselves • Saintly Manifestations and Royal Subjects • Women’s Sporting Life • Celebrity Sightings of the Female Variety • and Final Feminine Facts You Absolutely Can’t Live Without.

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