Join us on a literary world trip!
Add this book to bookshelf
Grey
Write a new comment Default profile 50px
Grey
Subscribe to read the full book or read the first pages for free!
All characters reduced
Power Moves - A Guide to Livin' the American Dream USA Style - cover

Power Moves - A Guide to Livin' the American Dream USA Style

Karl Welzein

Publisher: It Books

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Summary

Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loserKarl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this.Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's).A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once.Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers).But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.
Available since: 07/09/2013.
Print length: 259 pages.

Other books that might interest you

  • Know Your Shit - What Your Crap is Telling You - cover

    Know Your Shit - What Your Crap...

    Shawn Shafner

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    Pushing For Change from the Bottom Up! 
    Poop is a big deal. All people and all beings do it on any good day. It's basically at the center of everything. Know Your Shit lifts the lid off the potty taboo and breaks the stall doors down in search of the Perfect Poo. Along the way, learn what happens inside your body to make poo, how the process can go wrong, and simple fixes to make sure you stay in the Goldiplops Zone. Now, let us hold these poos to be self-evident; not all are created equal. But it is important to understand them in terms of personal health and global well-being. Because how are we supposed to fix all the super-complex problems in our world if we don't know shit about shit? 
    Diagrams are included in the audiobook companion PDF download.
    Show book
  • The First Helicopter Boys - The Early Days of Helicopter Operations—The Malayan Emergency 1947–1960 - cover

    The First Helicopter Boys - The...

    David Taylor

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    The Indonesian Confrontation that raged from 1963 to 1966 stemmed from Indonesia’s opposition to the creation of Malaysia. Fighting in the challenging jungle terrain of Borneo and in the countryside straddling the Malaysia/Indonesia border, where there were few roads, posed significant logistical challenges to both sides. That the conflict was ultimately a victory for the Commonwealth forces was in due in no small part to the fact that they enjoyed the advantage of vastly superior helicopter resources and better trained crews – many of which were provided by British units.  During the Confrontation, many of these vital helicopter assets were flown by pilots and crews who had gained their knowledge and experience firsthand during the Malayan Emergency, one of the Cold War’s first flash-points which had begun in 1948.  Without doubt, the Malayan Emergency marked the formative years of the RAF’s and Royal Navy’s helicopter operations – the very early days in fact, when equipment and knowledge were much more basic. It was a time when operational procedures were still under development, even though the helicopters were already being flown on front line service.  Told in the main through their own words, by the RAF and Royal Navy air and ground crews involved, this is the story of how these ‘guinea pigs’ undertook many of Britain’s first rotary wing combat operations and, therefore, cemented their rightful place in the history of the helicopter.
    Show book
  • Pirate Killers - The Royal Navy and the African Pirates - cover

    Pirate Killers - The Royal Navy...

    Graham A. Thomas

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    One hundred and fifty years ago the Royal Navy fought a daring campaign against ruthless pirates and won, killing The King of the Pirates, Bartholomew Roberts  off the coast of Africa and capturing his fleet. Scores of his men were executed by the Admiralty Court. On the Barbary Coast of North Africa pirates preyed on shipping in the Mediterranean and the Atlantic as they had done for centuries and they terrorized the populations of the coastal towns. To them, piracy was a way of life, and the great sea-powers of the day couldnt stop them. Then, in one of the most remarkable  and neglected  anti-piracy operations in maritime history, the Royal Navy confronted them, defeated them and made the seas safe for trade. This is the subject of Graham A. Thomass compelling new study of one of the most pernicious episodes in the history of African piracy. As he tells this compelling story, he uncovers the long tradition of piracy and privateering along the African shore. Vividly he describes attacks not only in the Mediterranean but also on the other side of the continent, along the shores of West Africa and around Madagascar. But perhaps the most telling sections of his narrative concern critical engagements that stand out from the story  the daring rescue of the British merchant ship The Three Sisters by HMS Polyphemus in 1848 and the actions of the battleship HMS Prometheus against the Rif pirates a few years later. His account is based on documents held at the National Archives and other original sources. It gives a fascinating inside view into the way in which the Royal Navy responded to the menace of piracy in the nineteenth century.
    Show book
  • 1776–1876: The Centennial Cook Book and General Guide - cover

    1776–1876: The Centennial Cook...

    Ella E. Myers

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    Published in Philadelphia in 1876, this volume in the American Antiquarian Cookbook Collection provides information about recipes and other cultural information from the 100 years between 1776 and 1876, divided into four sections: Cookery, Medical Department, Farming and Agriculture, and Events, and was published to celebrate the nation’s first centennial. 1776-187: The Centennial Cook Book and General Guide contains over 1,000 recipes gathered by author Mrs. Ella E. Myers, who states in the preface, “To compile and issue a work of this kind that would be perfect, has been my particular aim, and, I believe that I have succeeded.” Myers confirms that “each and every” recipe has been “carefully analyzed and tested by me” to ensure the highest of quality. Furthermore, Myers also states that the recipes were designed to only use quantities and ingredients absolutely necessary, and because of this, will save readers significant money. Besides just recipes and frugality, the hefty tome also contains sections on medicinal cures, planting and farming, and historical events of Philadelphia. Complete with some of the author’s own recipes (marked as such), 1776-1876  includes dishes such as Common Sense Biscuit, Corn Meal Muffins, Orange Biscuits, and Potato Fritters. With tested, economical recipes as well as medicinal and agricultural tips, 1776-1876: The Centennial Cook Book provides an accurate, informative, and intriguing picture of American lifestyles in the first 100 years of the United States. This edition of 1776-1876: The Centennial Cook Book and General Guide was reproduced by permission from the volume in the collection of the American Antiquarian Society, Worcester, Massachusetts. Founded in 1812 by Isaiah Thomas, a Revolutionary War patriot and successful printer and publisher, the Society is a research library documenting the life of Americans from the colonial era through 1876. The Society collects, preserves, and makes available as complete a record as possible of the printed materials from the early American experience. The cookbook collection includes approximately 1,100 volumes.
    Show book
  • The Lost Pilots - The Spectacular Rise and Scandalous Fall of Aviation's Golden Couple - cover

    The Lost Pilots - The...

    Corey Mead

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    Corey Mead's The Lost Pilots is the saga of two star crossed pilots who soar to the greatest heights of fame, tailspin into scandal and crime, and go the ultimate lengths for a chance at redemption. 
    During the height of the roaring twenties, Jessie Miller longs for adventure. Fleeing a passionless marriage in the backwaters of Australia, twenty-three-year-old Jessie arrives in London and promptly falls in with the Bright Young Things, those gin-soaked boho-chic intellectuals draped in suits, flapper dresses, and pearls. At a party Jessie meets Captain William Lancaster, married himself and fresh from the Royal Air Force, with a scheme in his head to become as famous as Charles Lindbergh, who has just crossed the Atlantic. Lancaster will do Lindy one better: fly from London to Melbourne, and in Jessie Miller he's found the perfect co-pilot. 
    Within months the two embark on a half-year journey across the globe, hopping from one colonial outpost to the next. But like world records, marriage vows can be broken, and upon their landing in Melbourne Jessie and William are not only international celebrities, but also deeply in love. 
    Yet the crash of 1929 catches up to even the fastest aviator, and the couple finds themselves in dire straits at their rented house on the outskirts of Miami—the bright glare of the limelight fading quickly.To make ends meet Jessie agrees to write a memoir, and picks the dashing Haden Clarke to be her ghostwriter. It's not long before this toxic mix of bootleg booze and a handsome interloper leads to a shocking crime, a trial that rivets and scandalizes the world, and a reckless act of abandon to win back former glory. 
    The Lost Pilots is an extraordinary true story, brought to vivid life by Corey Mead. Based on years of research, and full of adventure, forbidden passion, crime, scandal and tragedy, it is a masterwork of narrative nonfiction that firmly restores one of aviation's leading female pioneers to her rightful place in history.
    Show book
  • The Jay The Beech and the Limpetshell - Finding Wild Things With My Kids - cover

    The Jay The Beech and the...

    Richard Smyth

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    'Generous, moving and alive. A gift' - Tim Dee, author of Greenery
    'Intelligent, thought-provoking and always, always interesting' - Cal Flyn, author of Islands of Abandonment
    'Smyth writes with warmth and engaging perception about our relationship and understanding of the natural world on our doorsteps' - Jon Dunn, author of The Glitter in the Green
    'Fresh and tender and playful' - Patrick Galbraith, author of In Search of One Last Song
    Weren't they richer, rock pools, wasn't the seashore busier, when I was a kid?
    
    Richard Smyth had always been drawn to the natural world, but when he became a father he found a new joy and a new urgency in showing his kids the everyday wild things around them. As he and his children explore rockpools in Whitley Bay, or the woods and moors near his Yorkshire home, he imagines the world they might inhabit as they grow up.
    
    Through different objects discovered on their wanderings - a beech leaf, a jay feather, a limpetshell - Smyth examines his own past as well as that of the early natural historians, weaving together history, memoir, and environmentalism to form a new kind of nature writing: one that asks both what we have lost, and what we have yet to find.
    Show book