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  How to Get Successful by F*cking...

  Anna David

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  This recording has been digitally produced, by DeepZen Limited, using a synthesized version of an audiobook narrator’s voice under license. DeepZen uses Emotive Speech Technology to create digital narrations that offer a similar listening experience to human narration. 
  Anna David was, in every way, groomed for success. She grew up in an affluent community and came from a family that prioritized SAT scores, Harvard attendance and high-paying jobs. 
  The problem was, she had low SAT scores, was rejected by Harvard and spent her early life feeling like the family’s great disappointment. 
  Concluding that success was not for her, Anna focused her energies on an area where she excelled: drugs, alcohol and general mayhem. Washing ashore on the beaches of recovery at the age of 30, she begrudgingly entered a world of sobriety. That’s when she discovered that there were all sorts of ways to define success—and what’s more, that it was never too late to find it. The stories in this collection document her journey from self-indulgent party girl to sober and only semi-indulgent woman. By turns hilarious and touching, disturbing and ridiculous, How to Get Successful by F*cking Up Your Life proves that you truly can f*ck up your way to the top.

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  Satires and Profanities

  George William Foote

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  Believing as I do that James Thomson is, since Shelley, the most brilliant genius who has wielded a pen in the service of Freethought, I take a natural pride and pleasure in rescuing the following articles from burial in the great mausoleum of the periodical press. There will doubtless be a diversity of opinion as to their value. One critic, for instance, has called “The Story of a Famous Old Jewish Firm” a witless squib; but, on the other hand, the late Professor Clifford considered it a piece of exquisite mordant satire worthy of Swift. Such differences are inevitable from the very nature of the subject. Satire, more than any other form of composition, rouses antipathy where it does not command applause; and the greater the satire, the more intense are the feelings it excites. (G. W. Foote in his Preface)

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  The Good Luck of Right Now

  Matthew Quick

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  From Matthew Quick, the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, comes The Good Luck of Right Now, a funny and tender story about family, friendship, grief, acceptance, and Richard Gere—an entertaining and inspiring tale that will leave you pondering the rhythms of the universe and marveling at the power of kindness and love.For thirty-eight years, Bartholomew Neil has lived with his mother. When she gets sick and dies, he has no idea how to be on his own. His redheaded grief counselor, Wendy, says he needs to find his flock and leave the nest. But how does a man whose whole life has been grounded in his mom, Saturday mass, and the library learn how to fly?Bartholomew thinks he’s found a clue when he discovers a “Free Tibet” letter from Richard Gere hidden in his mother’s underwear drawer. In her final days, mom called him Richard—there must be a cosmic connection. Believing that the actor is meant to help him, Bartholomew awkwardly starts his new life, writing Richard Gere a series of highly intimate letters. Jung and the Dalai Lama, philosophy and faith, alien abduction and cat telepathy, the Catholic Church and the mystery of women are all explored in his soul-baring epistles. But mostly the letters reveal one man’s heartbreakingly earnest attempt to assemble a family of his own.A struggling priest, a “Girlbrarian,” her feline-loving, foul-mouthed brother, and the spirit of Richard Gere join the quest to help Bartholomew. In a rented Ford Focus, they travel to Canada to see the cat Parliament and find his biological father . . . and discover so much more.

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  Ecochondriacs - The No Quarter...

  Douglas Wilson

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  It's election season—America's most lucrative sport—and there are no rules.When climate scientist Dr. Helen Gardner accidentally reads an email from the International Task Force on Climate Change which proves that global warming is a lucrative scam, she's shocked and horrified. But that's nothing compared to how she feels the next day when her boss (the head of the Task Force) tries to have her killed. Helen goes into hiding with the help of her neighbor, a "fundy" Bible college professor named Cody, and an anti-eco-activist lumberjack-writer.But Helen's scandal isn't the only headline floating to the surface: the Democrat presidential candidate gets career-changing news; his running mate hits rock bottom after years of infidelity; the current Republican VP's past sins won't stay hidden forever. And Cody is about to uncover some dirt of his own.

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  Car Talk: Doesn't Anyone Screen...

  Tom Magliozzi, Ray Magliozzi

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  The guys share some of their favorite calls about the world where cars and animals meet. Luckily, it’s not dog-eat-dog, but sometimes it’s horse-eat-steering-wheel.Tom and Ray Magliozzi are America's foremost auto mechanics. So usually people phone in to their radio show with questions about cars—buying them, driving them, keeping them running. But every so often, out of the blue, Click and Clack are also called on to be amateur veterinary psychologists. They're asked to figure out why a horse has eaten a steering wheel, or why a 100-pound dog insists on riding on the roof of a pickup truck, or how a white rat the size of a two-liter Coke bottle got into a poor young woman's Chevy. And while they might not know the answer, they always come up with something.This is a collection of calls about cars, animals, and the mysterious, often hilarious times when they meet. It leads Tom and Ray down a familiar path—of wild speculation, occasional brilliant suggestions, and lots of laughs. This is a must-have for anyone who loves animals, particularly the two that host Car Talk.

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  The Gilded Age A Tale of Today

  Mark Twain

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  Originally published in 1873, The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today is the only novel Twain co-wrote (C.D. Warner was a good friend and neighbor of the Clemens family in Hartford, and the collaboration sprang from their wive's challenge and encouragement). The title, "The Gilded Age" became synonymous with graft, materialism and corruption in public life, which are well represented in this work. Like others of his works, this one reflects truths about American Society that remain pertinent today. Many of the characters and incidents that occur in the Gilded Age had their real-life origins in Clemens relatives and history, a fact which he revealed in his newly published (2011) Autobiography. (Introduction by John Greenman & Wikipedia)

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