Publisher: Good Press
This is a collection of jokes and funny stories told through poems and long-winded stories. These are from the nineteenth century so that some of the things that were thought amusing then may not be so now; but there is still some amusing reading here.
"This is the story of my life and it's not a happy one. If you wish to read about me you're welcome to but if you're looking for something to give you hope & joy comfort & inspiration then you had best leave off here straightaway and go find something else. My life has an abundance of frustration and pain plus a fair bit of sex and lots of killing and broken bones but it's got precious little hope & joy comfort & inspiration. It's got some women in it too plus a wife. Dalila is the one you may have heard of and a rare piece of work she was. You may think you know the story but believe me there's more."-from The Book of Samson From the author of the acclaimed and provocative novels Fallen and The Preservationist comes a tale about a man who believes he is touched by the hand of God-then instructed by that God to slaughter his enemies. It is the story of "this worldly existence of men & brutes desire & unkindness" and of the woman, Dalila, who figures at the center of it all. In The Book of Samson, David Maine has created an unforgettable portrait, a unique and astonishing masterpiece that puts a face on a previously faceless icon. "The combination of archaic language and setting with modern sensibilities again demonstrates Maine's talent for making the familiar intriguing."-Publishers Weekly Starred Review"Provocative and beautifully told-a breakout novel for Maine."-Kirkus Starred ReviewShow book
The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR).“Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.Show book
The big things in life look after themselves. Birth, love, death-they're all terrifically exciting, but they happen whether we like it or not. It's the little things in life that cause the most trouble. How do you deal with the million and one everyday challenges? Help is at hand. For the first time you can get intelligent, practical tuition on the level you need it: the trivial level. After years of exploring the small pockets in life's backpack in his celebrated "How to" column in the Weekend Guardian, Guy Browning has the rules that can help you move safely and effortlessly through the micro-chicanes on life's byways, including:-How to evaluate a bottle of wine (if the alcohol content is less than 15 percent, send it straight back)-How to get what you want at the barber's (no multipart instructions, please) -How to stay warm in bed (when your partner has cold feet and steals the covers) -How to be a fashionista (when your twenty-year-old wardrobe is suddenly back in vogue) -How to pretend to laugh at a friend's joke (the closest most men get to faking orgasm) -How to fix a computer (If restarting it doesn't work, turn it off and go back to a preindustrial lifestyle.) Covering cooking and eating, sleeping and waking, men and women, love and marriage, religion and politics, hedges and neighbors, Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade delivers the truth about the things that really matter. With a package as fun as its contents, it's the ideal gift for anyone who wants to live life with a sense of humor.Show book
Dare to dream! Here are your wildest fantasies in photos: men reading Jane Austen, spurning supermodels, and reading all of the instructions. Porn for Women (over 100,000 copies sold in its first six months!) and Porn for New Moms left women begging for more. To satisfy, the Cambridge Women’s Pornography Collective has upped the ante with this “unrated” edition, showcasing men who are hotter, hunkier, and even more helpful around the house. In these forty ultra-steamy photos and fantasies, women will find their deepest desires fulfilled: “Honey, I paid off our mortgage!” and “I just booked you two weeks at Canyon Ranch spa!” This collection makes another sizzling addition to our hugely successful line of Porn for Women. Bring on the eye candy and bring on the clean laundry! Praise for Porn for New Moms “Genius gift idea . . . (I’ll be getting one for each of the 10 baby showers I have in the next three months!)” —Glamour Magazine “It’s a book we wouldn’t mind sharing with every mother we know.” —Parenting.com “This new book from Chronicle has got to be my favorite baby shower gift idea this year.” —RookieMom.comShow book
Gettin' Poetic on Anaesthetic is a light-hearted memoir guaranteed to make you smile, laugh, or even wet your pants! A memoir is all about the ability to see life through the writer's eyes. Allow yourself to see the world through Simon's and you will read an honest, witty and sometimes whacky portrayal of what it's like to stay in an NHS hospital today. It starts by focusing on life growing up in Essex and the accidents he had as a boy, but then centres around the operation that prompted the title. Full of comedy and nostalgia, Simon gives you some cringe-worthy yet hilarious accounts of his life, mostly at his expense. If you have been, or indeed are about to go in to hospital for an operation, Gettin' Poetic on Anaesthetic could be the perfect medicine.Show book
On the outskirts of Buenos Aires in 1907, Doctor Quintana pines for head nurse Menéndez while he and his colleagues embark on a grisly series of experiments to investigate the line between life and death. One hundred years later, a celebrated artist goes to extremes in search of aesthetic transformation, turning himself into an art object. How far are we willing to go, Larraquy asks, in pursuit of transcendence? The world of Comemadre is full of vulgarity, excess, and farce: strange ants that form almost perfect circles, missing body parts, obsessive love affairs, and flesh-eating plants. Here the monstrous is not alien, but the consequence of our relentless pursuit of collective and personal progress.Show book
