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  Book of Duh! The: Outlandish...

  Jeff Lenburg

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  Join the Club. It's Okay to be "Duuuuuuuh!" 
  Everyone is guilty of doing it: Committing an act so outlandish, so stupid that the first thought that comes to mind is, “Duuuuuuuh!” “Duh!” moments happen all the time. They can strike at any moment. At any place, at any time of day, when you least expect them: 
  You Super Glue a quarter to your forehead betting a friend it won’t stick . . .”Duh!” 
  Your boss asks you to leave "early" to run an errand and then to stay late . . . “Duh!” 
  Your mother-in-law comes to visit after you buy her a “one-way” ticket . . . double “Duh!" 
  Need more examples? Okay, you asked for it. 
  You report a local family disturbance to the police and the officer comes to your door . . . ”Duh!” 
  Your blonde girlfriend hears accidents happen close to home, so she moves . . . ”Duh!” 
  You think becoming a vegetarian means you can’t eat Animal Crackers . . . ”Duh!” 
  Stand up. Take a bow. You are not alone. Now one laugh-filled volume brings them all together…the whole “Duhs!” and nothing but the “Duhs!” . . . THE BOOK OF DUH! This fun-filled treasury features the funniest, most outrageous “Duhs!” of all. Of course, who are we tell you that. You have lived these (and probably more). If not, join the club. It is okay to be “Duh!”  
  This audiobook is narrated by a digital voice.

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  Mallory Goes to Therapy -...

  Thomas Keech

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  Kevin Mallory is a Customer Assistance Representative for a cable company. He keeps his customers on hold, his supervisor on the run and his female nemesis on ice, but a new friend just might change his perspective. 
  Lilly has supported herself since high school with just a little help from her only living relative, her alcoholic older brother. She runs a small non-profit housing agency while McFadden, her supervisor and director of the agency, travels around the country on work -- and also on play. 
  Lilly decides, based on Mallory's boorish advances, that he is in need of sex addiction therapy. She wants to help him because he has led her to believe, falsely, that he has saved her brother's job. He goes in the wrong door in the church basement and accidentally joins the Healing Hearts Therapy Group instead. 
  Zach, Lilly's charming, gregarious, self-satisfied boyfriend, outrages her by sharing their private conversations with all their friends and egging them on to put pressure on her to marry him. She meets Selby, a humble policeman, through Mallory, and is immediately attracted to him. They meet at first at the shooting range, where she impresses him with her maturity and spirit. When she finds out McFadden has been embezzling funds, Zack implores her not to report it. Their love life begins to suffer from their disagreement, as well as from her growing attraction to Selby. She takes Selby's advice and tells her boss she must report him, endangering her own career as well as her relationship with Zach. 
  In an attempt to save Lilly's job, Mallory reverts to his old habit of impersonating an attorney in order to blackmail McFadden.

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  A Pocket Full Of Haddock

  Keven Shevels

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  A laugh-out-loud comedy in the vein of Spike Milligan and Tom Sharpe. Irreverent and a little bit surreal this book is a damn good laugh.
  It’s 1932 and four men have been brutally murdered in the village pub of St Mary Mediocre just outside the town of Slagbottom. The local police are baffled and the local busybody, Miss Marble, is unavailable, she’s been knocked off her bike by a passing Belgian tourist. So the local force calls for the help of the most famous police detective of the age, Detective Inspector Aloysius Corner of Scotland Yard. Corner of the Yard, as he is known far and wide, has an unusual method of solving crime … he leaves it all up to his assistant Detective Sergeant Impetigo Dogsbreath. But Sergeant Dogsbreath has his own problems; he was born in Slagbottom and left as soon as he was able. Now he bitterly resents being forced back to the town to confront his own personal history.

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  The Average American Male - A Novel

  Anonym

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  An offensive, in-your-face, brutally honest and completely hilarious look at male inner life and sexual fantasy—sure to be one of the most controversial books of the year.

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  The Eyes Have It

  Philip K. Dick

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  What if ordinary language hid extraordinary secrets? 
  Philip K. Dick’s delightfully strange short story The Eyes Have It takes a single misunderstanding and spirals it into full-blown paranoia in the way only Dick can. 
  When an unsuspecting reader opens a simple paperback, he discovers bizarre phrases that seem to describe humans casually removing eyes, hands, and limbs as if it were nothing. Horrified, he becomes convinced he has stumbled onto a hidden truth: alien beings who can detach their body parts walk among us — and the book is their confession. 
  What follows is a hilarious and unsettling descent into misunderstanding, speculation, and fear. With Dick’s trademark mix of satire, sci-fi curiosity, and slippery reality, the story skewers the way we interpret the world around us — and how easily imagination can outrun truth. 
  Narrated with sharp wit and perfect comic timing by Drew Caton, this short tale delivers a punch of classic speculative weirdness in just minutes. A must-listen for fans of retro sci-fi, humor with a paranoid twist, and the early works of Philip K. Dick.

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  The Snake Has All the Lines

  Jean Kerr

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  The #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Please Don’t Eat the Daisies offers another hilarious look at home life, show business, and more. Jean Kerr played many roles in her life, from exasperated mother to Broadway playwright and keen observer of mid-twentieth century suburbia. She also became one of America’s most beloved humorists by sharing her insights and anecdotes in a series of popular newspaper columns. In The Snake Has All the Lines, Kerr explores topics ranging from family vacations and modern convenience to the trials and tribulations of opening a new play. With her inimitable wit, she reminds us that while life may be a day at the beach, a day at the beach with small children can have you questioning your life choices in no time.

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