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  Chosen Ones Source

  Garth Owen, Ian Pattinson

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  Two short tales putting a spin on some common stories. 
  Chosen Ones 
  What happens to teenaged heroes once they've fulfilled the prophecies and saved the world? Well, the lost prince of Atlantis is going to speed dating events in Manhattan, and having a surprising meeting. 
  Source 
  The stories all suggest that the US military would get the cool alien space tech, and we'd have to trust them to do the right thing with it. More likely, the recipients would be random ordinary folk- like a guy out shopping and the woman he's trying to chat up.

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  Poop 8 Times Table - Learn...

  Professor Poop

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  STRUGGLING WITH THE 8 TIMES TABLE? LET’S FIX THAT—WITH LAUGHTER! 
  Does your child find multiplication frustrating? Poop 8 Times Tables by Professor Poop makes learning easy, fun, and downright hilarious! This uproarious audiobook takes kids on a wild ride through the 8 times table, packed with unexpected twists, jokes, and fart-tastic sound effects to keep them engaged.🎧📖 HERE’S HOW THIS AUDIOBOOK HELPS YOUR CHILD: 
  ✅ Focuses on Just the 8 Times Table – Concentrated practice leads to mastery! 
   ✅ Laugh & Learn – Humor keeps kids entertained and eager to practice. 
   ✅ Traditional Learning Made Fun – A simple, proven approach with extra giggles! 
   ✅ Bonus Printable Workbook – Includes a multiplication practice book with answers! 
   ✅ Builds Confidence – Fun, structured learning makes memorization easier. 
  📢 Parents and kids love this audiobook for its simple, effective, and laugh-out-loud approach to math!MAKE MULTIPLICATION FUN! 
  Whether your child is struggling with the 8 times table or just needs extra practice, this audiobook turns learning into an entertaining adventure! 
  🔢 Click "BUY NOW" to download Poop 8 Times Tables and get your free printable workbook today!

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  Fat Vampire 5: Fatpocalypse

  Johnny B. Truant

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  What the New Order Seeks, Reginald Must Find... 
  The new vampire president and his psychotic right-hand man have been playing a dangerous game with the humans over the past six months. In the public eye, the two races appear to be at peace ... but the situation below the surface is hot enough to boil. 
  And while the untrusting humans mass their defenses, vampire armies have been building to match them — with plans to exterminate the planet's current inhabitants, saving only a handful of blood slaves. 
  Reginald, Nikki, Maurice, and the others bunkered in at Maurice's estate find themselves in the middle of a no-win scenario: Is it better to fight with their own kind in the vampire revolution? Or should they turn traitors — and risk extermination by the angels — in order to protect the humans? 
  But just as the cold war outside is about to turn hot, Reginald's ever-expanding vampire brain reveals the existence of an artifact that could predict the outcome of the coming war … and maybe even a way to stop it. The only problem is that nobody knows where the artifact is, and when war then breaks and mass slaughter begins on both sides, it seems that time may have run out. 
  Fat Vampire 5 is the biggest, bloodiest, most snack-filled installment in the Fat Vampire series so far, and sets the stage for the sixth book's epic series-ender — a conclusion so big it’ll shake the human world’s foundations.

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  Killer in the Kiwis

  Dale Mayer

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  Book 11: Lovely Lethal GardensRiches to rags. ... Chaos again. ... Winning is important, ... at least for some!​​​​​​​Doreen is overwhelmed with joy when she sees all the volunteers who show up to help get her deck addition built. Most of the men are cops, friends of Corporal Mack Moreau’s, and are happy to help Mack’s special friend and the lady who has helped solve so many crimes for them with a spot of home renovation.But before the deck improvement can be finished, duty calls, and the cops are called away on a case. Another gray-haired lady has dropped dead. Yet another heart attack victim is added to the long line of previous ones. And, of course, neither of these recently deceased women had a heart condition that would explain their sudden demise.With her animals at her side, Doreen is determined to figure out what the ladies had in common, plus why and how kiwis keep popping up in this case. As she digs into the ladies’ lives, the things Doreen discover are shocking, … but not as shocking as the answer is to this riddle …

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  BadAsstronauts

  Grady Hendrix

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  From New York Times bestselling author of My Best Friend's Exorcism, The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires, and The Final Girl Support Group, Grady Hendrix takes a break from horror and goes all-in on sci-fi in this novella about backyard rocket jockeys trying to get into low earth orbit. 
   
  Melville, South Carolina was out of money, it was out of jobs, it was out of hope, and today it was out of astronauts. There were only two to begin with, and now one is stuck on the abandoned International Space Station after his mission went south. With NASA’s budget cut to the bone, there’s no one to bring him back home, so everyone is only too happy to ignore this embarrassing sign of American Failure and just let him die. But his cousin, Walter Reddie, isn’t going to let that happen. 
   
  Tanked on vodka, living on a “farm” whose only crop is cars on cinderblocks, Walter's a wash-out from the Shuttle Program and he’ll be damned if he’s going to let his cousin die in the sky like a dog. And so he begins to build a rocket. If America won’t rescue its astronauts, he’ll do it himself. 
   
  Violating numerous laws, good taste, common sense, logic, and reason, Walter becomes a lightning rod for people who aren’t ready to give up. His farm is transformed into the promised land for misfits, drifters, rocket junkies, pyromaniacs, dreamers, science nerds, and astro-hippies who believe that space shouldn’t just be for billionaires. But it won’t be easy. Chances are good they’ll blow themselves up, get arrested, or kill each other before they ever get into orbit.

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  Low-Hanging Fruit - Sparkling...

  Randy Rainbow

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  This program is read by the author, with contributions from Pamela Adlon and Gwen Rainbow. "The production of the audiobook...is so rich with sound effects, additional voice actors and music."—The San Francisco Chronicle"Tart, sassy, and hilariously funny from start to finish, Rainbow’s book offers laughter as a tonic for troubled times." —Kirkus Reviews"A recommended purchase, perfect for listeners who appreciate sharp humor and social commentary. Whether looking for a quick laugh or an insightful take on current events, this book provides both in abundance.”—Library JournalA new essay collection by adored comedian and New York Times bestseller Randy RainbowRandy Rainbow has a few things on his mind that he wants to talk about. As a savvy social commentator tuned into the public discourse, his unfailing intuition tells him that the perspective everyone in America is clamoring for is that of a privileged white male complaining about a bunch of shit. While writing his New York Times bestseller Playing With Myself, Randy saw an America in crisis. He knew that what the country needed to get back on its high heels was a hard-hitting gay agenda and here it is - Low Hanging Fruit - a book filled with sparkling whines, a few flutes of champagne problems and a Birkin bag of the most pressing issues facing the US, from dancing TikTok grandmas, to Elon Musk, the GOP, and Donald Jessica Trump.On the down low, Randy dishes up some sex talk about life on the dating apps, Craigslist hookups and more. (“Gurl, wait till you hear the story about the fireman and the goggles...”) Randy’s longtime companion, the glamorous Chinchilla Silver Persian cat Tippi, makes an appearance as she dishes about her life Chez Randy. And, in the most highly anticipated sequel since Top Gun: Maverick, Randy continues the conversation with his mother, Gwen, because who knows better than the Jewish mother of a gay man about how to solve America’s problems? Randy Rainbow’s Low Hanging Fruit is a bold manifesto for a nation desperately in need of a makeover.A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

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