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  Fables in Slang

  George Ade

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  While a columnist for The Chicago Record humorist George Ade penned numerous “fables” which were subsequently collected into books. Fables in Slang is the first of these collections. It contains 26 satirical stories that lampoon phrenologists, idealists, snobs, fanatics and other ignorant fools of the day, most of which still wander through our modern lives. Jean Shepherd considered Ade a predecessor who made writers like James Thurber, Mike Royko, and himself possible. Fables in Slang was first published in 1899 by Herbert S. Stone and Company. (Summary by Gregg Margarite)

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  United States Censuous Bureau -...

  Steve Kube

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  The snippets below attest that every day was an adventure while doing census work in the wilds of the South during the most contentious political climate of our time. 
    
    
  ...Not too many guns came out. I wasn't told to get the hell off my property but for once or twice...  
    
    
  ...the driver suddenly wheeled her substantial upper torso around to face me and with all seriousness said "I'd knock you over for that har." 
    
    
  The mountains are majestic, their colors an infinite blur of enchanting hues that changes as the earth rounds the sun and the sun crosses the sky. 
    
    
  One lot had more decaying vehicles spread out higgledy-piggledy than I had time to count, and the space between the crapped-out conveyances was chockablock with other junk. 
    
    
  If your smart speaker overhears you asking your dog if he went out and crapped like a boss will it go on your permanent record? 
    
    
  ...The next day when the boys got together to smoke, the lizard came back for more. This time all they had to do was hold the cigarette where the lizard could get to it and it came and put its mouth on the butt of the cigarette to get a hit of nicotine. 
    
    
  ...It was a small-caliber pistol, so if he was a lousy shot, or a very good one, and missed my vitals, he could have pumped more than a few slugs in me before I hit the ground. 
    
    
  A cup of coffee suits me in the morning. Please don't bring me a latte, frappe, mocha-chino, double grande-cuppa-froo-froo, early in the morning. A glass of fresh brewed iced tea and a tomato sandwich, a beer and a burger; onion rings, and hush puppies done-just-right will do just fine, thank you much. 
    
    
  And then I came to a freakin' fork in the road. A freakin' fork. No signs, just a fork. I still had no GPS signal, I was back in the old world now, left to my own devices.  
    
    
  A lot of my time that day was spent around the Coosa, a lazy flowing river as inviting as any I'd ever seen. It was a good day. Everyone I met was a friend. It was enough to have one let go of the need to cleave to one or another belief about anything and to just let things be as they are. 
    
    
  We settled down and went back to watching the night sky for shooting stars and speculating on UFOs, but by that time none of us was particularly interested in believing what the rest of us had to say about anything. 
    
    
  We all know what it's like to be betrayed; To hell with that. Fool me once, fuck you. 
    
    
  Alabama was somewhat like a seductive and partly dangerous woman who has her way with you because she can, and it's all your fault for showing up anyway. I'd go back to Alabama in a skinny minute.

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  Star Trek Cats

  Jenny Parkes

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  A collection of illustrated classic Star Trek scenes starring an adorable cast of cats. Captain’s log: We have entered a galaxy where beloved illustrator Jenny Parks has conjured an astonishingly vivid homage to the original Star Trek series with an unexpected twist: a cast of cats. Featuring a hilarious new take on iconic characters and scenes—from Kirk in the Captain’s chair to Spock offering his Vulcan wisdom—this eye-opening adventure stays true to the tone of the classic TV show. Playful, loving, and from a strange new world, Star Trek Cats is the perfect gift for fans of, well, Star Trek and cats.  TM & © 2017 CBS Studios Inc. STAR TREK and related marks and logos are trademarks of CBS Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved. Praise for Star Trek Cats“Is it too early to state that this book is possibly the quintessential Christmas stocking filler for the lover of Star Trek AND cats in your family?” —Starburst “Featuring big, bold artistic interpretations of many a famous Star Trek scene, except with, well, uh, cats, the book is rewarding for both an episode-quoting Trekkie and your favorite crazy cat lover. And if you happen to be both of those things, it's most certainly an item you will want to add to your collection.” —TrekCore “Jenny Parks is a great illustrator. The way she has captured the characters and a variety of our favorite aliens while making them inhabit very feline traits is superb and delivers a many good laughs. If you like things on the quirky and fun side, you'll want this book.” —GeekDad

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  1200 Fun Random & Interesting...

  Scott Matthews

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  Did you know that self-discipline is a better indicator of success than your IQ score? Did you know that the Walt Disney Company is the world’s second biggest buyer of explosives? Did you know that oxygen masks in airplanes aren't actually connected to an oxygen tank? They instead use a chemical reaction to generate it on the spot. 
  In these 1200 facts you're going to learn more than you learned from all your high school teachers combined. It's full of interesting information that you can whip out in any conversation. You'll never be lost for words and always have the perfect ice breaker. 
  You're going to learn more about the world you live in & some of the topics include: 
  - Science 
  - Economics 
  - Human Anatomy 
  - Animal Species 
  - Space 
  And many, many More! What’re you waiting for? Knowledge is power! Come on in and we’ll delve into the interesting and fascinating facts about the world around us. Scroll up and click the ‘add to cart’ button now!

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  Fatgirl: Episodes 7-10 - Box Set #3

  C. S. Johnson

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  FATGIRL: EPISODES 7-10 BOX SET (FATGIRL OMNIBUS COLLECTION #3) 
  You'll never look at doughnuts the same way again.  
  Kallie's come a long way from accidentally stuffing her face full of Abuela-Blancha's radioactive doughnuts. 
  Now, Kallie's actually almost confident she can handle anything -- even if it means standing up to her best frenemy, especially when Amory declares no one in their group of friends will have a date for the Spring Fling. Too bad Kallie's set to miss it anyway, since AB needs to go to Fort Lauderdale to confront ZZ over who gave her AB's stolen doughnut recipe. 
  Along the way, Kallie will face difficult, challenging questions that have life-altering answers: 
  What's so great about Florida, anyway? 
  Just who is this Agent Grey who's on the scene? 
  WHY IS HER MOTHER IN FLORIDA? 
  Also, why did Max Powers become a police officer? 
  And how can Azure's real be name ... "Stan" ... really, seriously? 
  Find out in this sweet, surprising Omnibus installment of Fatgirl!  
  INCLUDES:  
  Fatgirl: Spring Fling 
  Fatgirl: Black Powers 
  Fatgirl: Azure Skies 
  Fatgirl: Lard Boy 
  Fatgirl is a satirical, science fiction superhero series about growing up, PC culture, and diet culture from award-winning, genre-hopping author C. S. Johnson. Perfect for fans of Marvel, Mean Girls, and The Golden Girls!

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  At Last the 1948 Show - The Best Of

  Tim Brooke-Taylor, Marty...

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  At Last the 1948 Show is a classic satirical TV series that prided and inspired Monty Python. Featuring Cambridge footlighters John Cleese, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graham Chapman, this is arguably the finest sketch comedy series ever produced, and certainly something you do not want to miss... 
  This is a large collection of the very best sketches from the first and second series of the show, including: 
  -Reluctant Choir (Intro)-Psychiatrist-Secret Service Cleaner-Deadly Architectural Model-Chartered Accountants Dance-Four Yorkshiremen-Let's Speak-a English-Top of the Form-Spiv Doctor-Thief in Library-Come Dancing-Someone Has Stolen the News-Topic: Freedom of Speech-Railway Carriage-Programme Announcement-Studio Tour-Four Sydney Lotterbys-Visitors for the Use of...-Sleep Starvation-Mice Laugh Solftly-Charlotte-Undercover Policemen-Shirt Shop-Nosmo Claphanger Game Show-Insurance for Accident-Prone Man-Uncooperative Burglars-Thuggish Ballet Supporters

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