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  How to Tell a Story and Other...

  Mark Twain

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  I Finally Bought Some Jordans -...

  Michael Arceneaux

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  ""Very good writers have an ability to make you understand what they're feeling. But the very best writers have an ability to make you understand what you're feeling. And that's where Michael Arceneaux sits, and that's what he does in this new book. It's like he's crawling around inside your head opening file cabinets and telling you what the gibberish you've scribbled on each page in each file means. What a great, fun read.""—Shea Serrano, #1 New York Times bestselling author 
  New York Times bestselling author Michael Arceneaux returns with a hilarious collection of essays about making your voice heard in an increasingly noisy and chaotic world. 
  In his books I Can't Date Jesus and I Don't Want to Die Poor, Michael Arceneaux established himself as one of the most beloved and entertaining writers of his generation, touching upon such hot-button topics as race, class, sexuality, labor, debt, and, of course, paying homage to the power and wisdom of Beyoncé. In this collection, Arceneaux takes stock of how far he has traveled—and how much ground he still has to cover in this patriarchal, heteronormative society. He explores the opportunities afforded to Black creatives but also the doors that remain shut or ever-so-slightly ajar; the confounding challenges of dating in a time when social media has made everything both more accessible and more unreliable; and the allure of returning home while still pushing yourself to seek opportunity elsewhere. 
  I Finally Bought Some Jordans is both a corrective to, and a balm for, these troubling times, revealing a sharply funny and keen-eyed storyteller working at the height of his craft.

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  The Wackiest Joke Book Ever! -...

  Press Editors of Portable

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  A compendium of nearly 500 giggles, groans, and belly-laughs for the whole family!Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart—chances are you love a good joke—and you can never have enough on hand to share at the right (or wrong) moment. That’s why you need The Wackiest Joke Book Ever!The editors at Portable Press stuffed the pages of this little book with the silliest jokes they could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers—all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. Here’s a sampling:Q. Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? A. He had no guts.Q. What did the lips say to the eyes? A. Between you and me, something smells. Q. Why did all of the students eat their homework? A. The teacher said the questions were a piece of cake.

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  Abbott and Costello: Trying to...

  Bud Abbott, Lou Costello

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  Lou runs over Mr and Mrs Niles in their car. Now Bud and Lou need to rent a car. Abbott and Costello do U Drive routine. They are going to the Andrews sisters ranch.They check into a hotel while looking for the ranch. They have the Andrews Brothers on this show instead.

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  The Doorbell Went

  Thomas Kennedy

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  The doorbell went at dawn. The police were there to arrest Edward for rape.  When the case is dropped due to insufficient evidence, policewoman Kelly is outraged. She decides Edward will not get away with rape.  Kelly, and her housemate Maeve, were childhood victims of abuse. Now, as catharsis for their trauma, they search out and castrate men who get away with rape. Janet, his rape victim, helps them set the trap to blackmail Edward. But Janet wants a different punishment for Edward. Trapped, Edward is forced choose between ten to fifteen years in jail or becoming Kelly's naked slave for six months.  Edward signs up for domination and feminisation, but is promised earlier release if he helps kidnap a pernicious child abuser. Janet suffers from Dyspraxia, affecting her ability to form friendships and deal with the world at large. She lives in prosperous circumstances with her two aunts.But all is not well. Aunt Elizabeth is slipping into a schizophrenic world of illusions. Aunt Julia has started an affair with Paddy, a married man with three children. Sarah, a long-time family friend, is falling on hard times due to her gambling alcoholic husband. Sarah offers to help Julia manage her sister at home if Julia will agree to a lesbian relationship with Sarah as her mistress.  Janet, pregnant as a result of the rape, has decided to leave this household and comes up with a surprising solution.

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  Who Was Gertie Ford?

  Chris Sullivan

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  In 1966, just two weeks after the IRA blew up Nelson's Pillar in O'Connell Street Dublin, Eddie McGrath is knocked down and killed by the airport bus near the spot where the Pillar used to stand. 
  His death turns his seventeen year old daughter, Nuala, into an orphan. 
  She never knew her mother, Gertie, at all, and when she looked into her father's things she found items of her mother that deeply disturbed her. 
  The Tale of Gertie Ford will take the reader to the west coast of Ireland, in search of Gertie, to a world of adventure, heartbreak and tragedy set in the mid forties and 1966 in Dublin, Sligo and Donegal. 
  In Sligo, Nuala stays with a family of brothers under the pretence that she is going to marry one of them; in Donegal Gertie is introduced to poteen smuggling and in Dublin the reader is given a glimpse of the infamous Magdalene Laundries/Asylums. 
  There will be heartbreak, rape and incest but it is very minimal as there is a lot of comedy, both in situations and dialogue, and the question as to what Gertie was doing in Dublin on that first day of Spring will be answered. 
  Published by JMP. Distributed by Big Happy Family LLC.

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