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  Model Behavior

  Jay McInerney

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  Connor McKnight, former acolyte of film, Zen, and Japanese literature, is not unaware that these avocations are wildly different from his present occupation as a fledgling celebrity journalist. Meanwhile, his longtime girlfriend, the fashion model Philomena, seems curiously remote and soon decamps for the West Coast. Then there's the sister with whom he shared a flamboyantly addled childhood and his best friend, a monkishly neurotic and militantly vegetarian writer. Connor'             s anxieties can scarcely be assuaged by his trio of flirting obsessions—             a gorgeous stripper, a screenplay in progress, and the nature of a meaningful future. With the holidays fast approaching—             and a female admirer stalking him by email—             Connor gropes his hapless, hilarious way toward not so much salvation as self-preservation.

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  Hagar of the Pawn-Shop

  Fergus Hume

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  Hagar Stanley, a beautiful young Gypsy, is driven by sexual harassment to leave her tribe and seek refuge with her uncle Jacob, a miserly London pawnbroker. He dies after teaching Hagar the business, and she takes over running the popshop till the legitimate heir can be traced. In the odd assortment of objects that pass across her counter, Hagar uncovers one mystery after another. Some items are linked to actual crimes, others to iniquitous acts of human deceit and betrayal. Whether investigating independently or alongside the police, Hagar combines her native shrewdness with woman's intuition to help untangle the webs of wickedness she encounters, that justice might prevail in the end. Though the individual mysteries in Hagar of the Pawn-shop may be read separately, they are so arranged by Fergus Hume as to form a linked set, with characters from earlier stories popping up again later on, one as Hagar's love interest and another as her nemesis. - Summary by Grant Hurlock

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  Yoga Pant Nation - A Novel

  Laurie Gelman

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  This program is read by the author.A Good Morning America Buzz PickFrom the author of Class Mom and You've Been Volunteered comes a new audiobook on one mom's challenges through parenting and life, keeping her on her toes and perpetually in yoga pants.Jen Dixon of Overland Park, Kansas—fearless mother of a fifth-grade boy and two thirty-something daughters—is used to juggling a lot, from her mission to become a spin instructor, to stepping in as the most acerbic class mom ever (again), to taking care of her two-year-old granddaughter. But when the PTA president throws her a mandate to raise $10,000 for the fifth-grade class, even unflappable Jen is going to need more than her regular spin class to get her through this final year at William Taft Elementary School.In the midst of new complications—organizing the class overnight to Topeka, an unexpected spin class fan in the form of her husband’s crazy ex-wife, and trying to navigate her parents’ sudden descent into apparent delusions—Jen hardly has the patience to listen to yet another half-baked idea (come on, ladies, another wrapping paper sale?) from WeFUKCT (We Fundraise Until Kingdom Come Team), her fundraising committee. But if anyone can get elementary parents to pull off the impossible, it’s Jen Dixon.With her always irreverent and laugh-out-loud humor—boldly holding forth on those things you’re thinking, but would never dare say out loud—Laurie Gelman shines a light on the indignities and hilarities of modern parenting.A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt and Company

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  Blabbermouthing Idiots

  James M. Spears

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  More of the funniest stories in the world!

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  Soy Sauce and the Holocaust

  Rob Schneider

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  In Soy Sauce and the Holocaust Rob Schneider takes on the biggest role of his life: a stand-up comedian, as he learns lessons about love and other cultures. He tells the side-splitting stories of the three hoods: childhood, adulthood, and parenthood.  
  From closet farts to his sex life, Rob isn't holding back any of the dirty details. Don't miss this hilarious hour-long special that will leave you wondering how you lived before seeing this!

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  The One-Hoss Shay

  Oliver Wendell Holmes

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  This is a small collection of whimsical poems by the American physician and author Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.  "The Deacon's Masterpiece" describes the "logical" outcome of building an object (in this case, a two-wheeled carriage called a shay) that has no weak points.  The economic term "one hoss shay," referring to a certain model of depreciation, derives its name from this poem.  "How the Old Horse Won the Bet" is a lighthearted look at a horse race.  Finally, "The Broomstick Train" is a wonderfully Halloween-y explanation of how an electric tram really works.  (Summary by Laurie Anne Walden)

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