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  Traveling Sprinkler

  Nicholson Baker

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  A new novel by bestselling author Nicholson Baker reintroduces feckless but hopeful hero Paul Chowder, whose struggle to get his life together is reflected in his steadfast desire to write a pop song, or a protest song, or both at once.

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  Trump Ninja Vs China Flu - "We...

  Trump Ninja

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  Donald Trump doesn't want you to fear COVID. Stay safe. Stay alive. Do the opposite of what DT wants.  
  Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity."  
  We see a COVID-denying, unscientific, un-empathetic, narcissist. 
  But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja. 
  From the guy who tells scientists to try injecting patients with bleach and who thinks it's fine to kill millions of Americans to get "herd mentality", comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement.  
  Trump Ninja vs. China Flu, sees our Colluder-in-Chief trying to distract the public from his gross negligence and mismanagement of the response to the virus killing hundreds of thousands of citizens by focusing on any and everything else. Especially the way he is saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the secret conspiracy behind the conspiracies. 
  EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW: 
  “It’s this virus, sir.” This is what they’re telling me. It’s this virus. They think it’s the big one. 
  That can only mean one thing. Zombies. 
  “We’re going to have to get some protocols in place, sir. We may need to shut down for a while.” 
  Obviously, we’ll need to shut down. You don’t want to mess around when it comes to zombies. I’ve seen the documentaries. Those things are bad news. 
  Trump Ninja vs. China Flu. KERCHEWIE! Go get it.  
  Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. China Flu is book six in the seven book Trump Ninja series. Get them all today!

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  Talk to Your Cat

  Susie Green

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  We all know cats can talk – but how do we find out what our cat is actually saying?
  Talk to Your Cat is the book that reveals the secrets of the enigmatic feline. With a host of cat lore and wisdom, as well as explaining body language, facial expressions, and the meaning of meows, the book breaks down the mysteries surrounding why cats do what they do! You'll find information on cat psychology, how breeding controls behaviour, finding the root cause of what has made your cat unhappy and all sorts of fascinating facts to help you better understand your feline friend. Soon you will know everything there is to know about your cat! But we may never understand why they knocked that glass off the table…

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  Go the F**k to Sleep

  Adam Mansbach

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  The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR).“Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

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  The Fantastic Book of Chemistry...

  Shane Van

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  Welcome, welcome! With so many people slapping their neon The Fantastic Book of Chemistry Jokes, this author’s edition has been released. No matter your understanding of chemistry, I am sure you'll get a reaction, because the jokes within, are sodium funny. These jokes have been accumulated through years of interactions with fellow scientists and teachers and lots of drinking in strange bars late at night. A word of caution must be had, some jokes are innocent, and some are rude & lewd, but none are meant to offend. As studies have shown, the darker your sense of humour, the more intelligent you are. With that being said, sit back, put your feet up and wait for the nerdy fluorine, uranium, nitrogen-filled laughs to tickle your fancy. 
  “Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.” 
  -Adam Sandler

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  A Happy Bureaucracy

  M.P. Fitzgerald

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  Nukes ended most of society. Now all that's left is taxes. 
  Arthur McDowell works for the most indestructible employer left in post-apocalyptic America: the IRS. Safe and sound inside a government bunker, Arthur is proud to be just another drone. But for an ambitious man (and excellent typist) such as Arthur, a promotion to supervisor is just around the corner. 
  Arthur's world flips when instead of a becoming supervisor, the brass makes him a census-taker. His task: to head out into the irradiated streets armed with paperwork and red tape. Assigned to him is a drug-addicted bodyguard, Rabia Duke, who could care less if they survive. 
  All's well at first, but after Arthur is confronted by a warlord, he realizes that the only thing that can save them all is a massive audit. Because even above radiation, roving gangs, and starvation, what the world should fear the most remains bureaucracy. A happy bureaucracy. 
  Brazil by way of Mad Max, M.P. Fitzgerald's A Happy Bureaucracy is a bleak and hilarious look at the wheels of a system that keep turning even when nothing else is left. Get your copy today!

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