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  Wotcha

  Kev Saunders

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  Wotcha'  a contraction of the 15th century English greeting 'what chere be with you?' Watcher n  a person who watches or observes somebody or something. A voyeur. Say WOTCHA! to Bart Raines, who's condemned forever to be a watcher after a childhood prank left his eyelid glued to his beloved telescope. Stuck with one eye that can't not see, he's turned voyeurism into a lucrative blackmail industry. Say WOTCHA! to former rock star, avid coke fiend, Richard 'Winston' Smith who's watched by millions  among them erstwhile school friend Bart, who's orchestrating revenge for Winston's teenage betrayal through the sinister global surveillance network he calls the Daisy Chain. Say WOTCHA! to high class whore Daisy Chains (neé Raines) and her teenage son Joe, who's abducted along with his girlfriend by a sinister 'Christian' cult, which leaves the kids to die, hogtied and helpless in a derelict drainage tunnel slowly filling with sewage. Watched by the world's media, Winston, Daisy and Bart reunite to use fame and the Daisy Chain to save two teenage lives  and their own souls  from the filth that's about to drown them. Wotcha! is a comic spit in the eye of born again zealots with a wink and a twinkle to the rest of us  but it's also deadly serious. Mining a rich seam of coalblack humour and sex, drugs and rock and roll, it starts on a bittersweet nostalgia trip and builds up to the pace of a thriller. CONTROVERSIAL STUFF? Its themes and explicit language make this a candidate for one of those 'parental advisory' stickers they put on CDs these days. Does that make WOTCHA! a book that people aged under sixteen shouldn't read? In the author's opinion  absolutely not. 'If rude words and references to sex, drugs and rock and roll upset you per se, this book's not for you. But if you believe, as I do, that a sense of humour is what separates "naughty" from "evil", I think you might enjoy this story, laugh at the funny bits, think about the serious bits and read the redemption between the lines.'

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  Marlene Dietrich's ABC's

  Marlene Dietrich

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  A collection of the icon’s surprising and heartfelt thoughts on topics A-to-Z, plus recipes and photos—a wonderfully addictive scrapbook for fans. From the wonderfully varied and witty mind of Marlene Dietrich comes an alphabetized collection of her most zany, honest, and heartfelt thoughts. Offering her take on a range of ideas, people, and items, Marlene Dietrich’s ABC is an unprecedented glimpse into one of history’s brightest and most enigmatic stars. Nothing is too small or grand for Dietrich’s unique eye. From her entry for hardware store—“I’d rather go to a hardware store than to the opera”—to her entry for egocentric—“If he is a creative artist, forgive him”—she transforms both the mundane and the mysterious into snapshots of her own spirit. Complete with photos from her vast career, Marlene Dietrich’s ABC is an unexpected and addicting treat.

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  Three Men on the Bummel

  Jerome K.

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  ““What is a ‘Bummel’?” said George. “How would you translate it?” 
  “A ‘Bummel’,” I explained, “I should describe as a journey, long or short, without an end; the only thing regulating it being the necessity of getting back within a given time to the point from which one started.”” 
  Written in 1900, Jerome. K. Jerome’s sequel to his successful “Three Men in a Boat” (1889) retains his same three men; Harris, George, and himself. They are now older, if not always wiser, and decide to embark on a bicycle tour of the Black Forest and its surrounding areas. 
  Perhaps it is something of the late Victorian Gentleman’s attitude to “foreign parts” that give this sequel a somewhat less frivolous tone than the generally jolly one of three men boating on the familiar Thames. Indeed, the description of the popular practise of German Student duelling (“The Mensur”) is decidedly graphic. Yet despite a less cohesive narrative there are still many equally funny incidents, told with Jerome’s characteristic self-deprecating style. Not least, dear Uncle Podger makes a welcome return as he tries his futile best to leave the house on time for work. 
  Head Stories Audio presents "Three Men on the Bummel" by Jerome. K. Jerome. Narrated by Simon Hester. With original music.

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  Dances with Donkeys - The Memoir...

  Jim Duke

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  Journey through the dusty plains of Texas and the rugged mountains of Colorado in author Jim Duke’s debut, DANCES WITH DONKEYS: The Memoir of a Half-Assed Cowboy—the often hilarious, occasionally poignant, sometimes hair-raising, and always entertaining tales of a man who dropped out of high school and took off for Texas to become a cowboy.   In this captivating memoir, Duke recounts his adventures and ass-inine misadventures with mules, donkeys and horses as he introduces readers to the complexity and variety of personalities among these intelligent creatures. Through prose and poetry, he shows the deep bond that can form between humans and equines.     Whether you're a fan of cowboy culture or just love a good memoir, DANCES WITH DONKEYS is reminiscent of cowboy poet laureate Baxter Black with a twist in the saddle. You'll laugh your "ass" off and come away with a whole new understanding of why little boys (and girls) grow up dreaming of being cowboys. Don't miss out on this one-of-a-kind journey into the heart of the American West.

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  The Quizziology Of The British...

  Gilbert Abbott A'Beckett

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  Discover the Wit and Wonder of British Drama from the height of the Victorian era! 
  Step into the captivating world of British theatre with The Quizziology of the British Drama, a delightful and witty exploration of the plays, playwrights, and performances that have shaped the stage. Penned by the brilliant satirist and dramatist Gilbert Abbott A'Beckett, this charming book explores the stage passions through extended verse, a motley crew of stage characters that no good play is without, and a series of one-act 'deleted' plays in the style of famous playwrights of the time. 
  A'Beckett, a master of humor and keen observer of the theatrical arts, takes you on a journey through the triumphs and foibles of British drama. From Shakespearean classics to the farces and melodramas of the 19th century, The Quizziology of the British Drama offers a unique blend of exposition, critique, and playful commentary. Whether you're a seasoned theatregoer or a curious newcomer, this book promises to spark your curiosity and leave you laughing at the quirks of the dramatic world. 
  Perfect for book clubs, drama students, or writers, The Quizziology of the British Drama is full of sharp wit and clever observations. With its engaging style and timeless appeal, this book is a must-have for anyone who appreciates the magic of the stage. 
  Don’t miss your chance to own this gem of theatrical literature. Add The Quizziology of the British Drama to your collection today and uncover the fascinating, funny, and unforgettable world of British theatre!

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  The Neighbor Renovation

  Grace Worthington

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  My perfect summer just got ruined by a brunette in a tool belt. 
   
   
   
  This was my summer to get away from it all. Live like a hermit. Fix up my family's vacation home. Until Ella arrived. 
   
   
   
  My infuriating neighbor has returned for beach season. Ever since our families bought summer homes next to each other, that was the beginning of our neighbor war. Now I have to see her every. single. day. 
   
   
   
  When I let it slip that I'm making a few home improvements, she jumps at the chance to help. She's an interior designer who needs work. I'm a man who loathes shopping. Any mention of the words color palette makes me want to break out in hives. 
   
   
   
  We're the dynamic duo for this fixer upper. There's only one problem: the more time we spend together, the more attracted I am to her. Now our on-the-job flirting is veering into dangerous territory. 
   
   
   
  Because if there's one thing I know, Ella and I are not meant to be together. I'm emotionally unavailable. She's sworn off relationships. And our families hate each other. 
   
   
   
  I know my future is at stake. But I can't seem to tear myself away from this project . . . or her. So I tell myself: I most definitely will not fall for my neighbor.

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