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  The Babylon Bee Guide to Gender...

  The Babylon Bee

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  From the satirical minds behind the viral sensation The Babylon Bee comes the latest installment of its guide series. This looks at the two original gangsta genders—male and female—shows us the progressively insane slide into the multiplying number of genders that has lately been spiraling out of control. IF YOU’RE CONFUSED ABOUT GENDER, YOU’VE PICKED UP THE RIGHT BOOK. IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO EXPLORE THE WACKY, WILD WORLD OF GENDER THEORY: AND YOU JUST MIGHT DISCOVER YOURSELF ALONG THE WAY. Join the writers of the satirical sensation The Babylon Bee as they walk you through the following ideas: What is a MAN? What is a WOMAN? How to PICK YOUR GENDER How to CHANGE GENDERS How to RAISE WOKE THEYBIES How to ATTRACT OTHER GENDERS Sex vs. GENDER IDENTITY Incredible GENDER FLAGS Fabulous SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS Drag queen STORY HOUR All 437 NEW genders AND MORE! Every page of this guide is jam-packed with 100 percent true facts delivered through fabulous illustrations, handy infographics, and, of course, stick figures of all genders and orientations. In The Babylon Bee Guide to Gender, we’ll take you on a journey to the two “original gangsta” genders— male and female. Then, we’ll show you the progressively insane slide into the increasing number of potential genders that has spiraled out of control in the last few years. We’ll teach you how to pick your gender, educate you on how to tell if you’re a man or a woman, and show you the limitless cornucopia of gender identities to choose from. Just don’t use our incorrect pronouns—we go by Bee/Beeself.

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  Pardon my Camino - A tale of...

  Julia Sargeaunt

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  Bob and Brigit, a Canadian couple, have managed to screw up their previously successful lives when a wild investment in GoldRush, a mining company, lands the family in deep debt. Brigit is a heroine through it all, we might say a heroine-martyr. The debt paid off, and Brigit persuades Bob they need to hike the Camino de Santiago pilgrim trail. Bob is all up for some European sophistication and good times. Grand idea, but if crossing mountain passes, sleepless hours in noisy hostels and getting separated on the trail were their only challenges, they would surely have pulled through, but now, they must deal with old and new secrets that the trail churns up. 
  There is energy and humour and lessons learnt, often in unexpected ways, from other pilgrims, local people, monks, nuns and history. Pardon my Camino is a thoughtful and humorous, better-late-than-never coming-of-age story, that will keep you laughing, concerned, engaged, and entertained and carry you off on an adventure in Spain to follow the trail.

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  Bark to the Future

  Spencer Quinn

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  Spencer Quinn's Bark to the Future continues the adventurous New York Times and USA Today bestselling series that Stephen King calls “without a doubt the most original mystery series currently available.” 
   
  When Chet the dog, “the most lovable narrator in all of crime fiction” (Boston Globe), and his human partner, PI Bernie Little, are approached by a down-andout older man with a cardboard sign at an exit ramp, Bernie is shocked to discover  
  the man is a former teammate from his high school baseball team. Chet and Bernie take Rocket out for a good meal, and later, Bernie investigates Rocket’s past, trying to figure out what exactly went wrong. 
   
  Then, Rocket goes suspiciously missing. With his former teammate likely in danger, Bernie goes back to his old high school for answers, where much that he remembers turns out not to be true—and there are powerful and dangerous  
  people not happy with the questions Bernie is asking. 
   
  Bernie soon learns that he misunderstood much about his high school years—and now, Chet and Bernie are plunged into a dangerous case where the past isn’t dead and the future could be fatal.

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  Carry On Jeeves and The...

  P. G. Wodehouse

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  P.G. Wodehouse, the master of British humor, produced dozens of books and hundreds of short stories in his long and prolific career. But none of his creations has quite captured the world's imagination as much as his bumbling, empty-headed, man-about-town Bertie Wooster and Bertie's faithful, knight-in-shining tuxedo Jeeves. Collected here are some of Wodehouse's most beloved "Jeeves and Wooster" tales - ten short stories from the anthology "Carry On, Jeeves" as well as the novel "The Inimitable Jeeves" - each a master class in comedic writing. Along with Jeeves and Bertie, we are introduced to an entire cast of beloved Wodehouse characters: Bingo Little, James "Corky" Corcoran, Gussie Fink-Nottle, Honoria Glossop, Rockmetteller Todd and the terrifying and bombastic Aunt Agatha. This collection even contains the one-and-only Wodehouse short story narrated by Jeeves himself. These two collections are presented here in their original and unabridged form.

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  My Juliet--Examined Right There...

  J.C. Cummings

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  Derek Vernon is just trying to relax and enjoy a pleasant day at the beach, along with his wife Juliet and his parents. And, given how smokin’ hot Juliet looks in her bikini, it promises to be a very pleasant day, indeed! 
   
  Until his sweetie comes running out of the water in a panic. Something has gotten onto that fantastic body of hers—something that stings and itches badly.
   
  Not to worry. Derek’s dad works in the medical field. He’ll handle everything.
   
  Not that this man is a doctor or anything close. He’s merely an x-ray technician. Still, he’s the best they have at the moment. But what Derek’s dad lacks in medical qualifications, he more than makes up for in sheer gall. He actually orders the shaking young woman to lie down on the beach blanket, where he proceeds to remove her swimsuit and examine her very carefully.
   
  Carefully, thoroughly, and very intimately—right there on a public beach with dozens of gawking bystanders. And Juliet is perhaps the last person on Earth to endure such humiliation. In fact, she has frustrated her husband to no end for years with her over-the-top body modesty and inhibited sexuality.
   
  So, although Derek should feel sorry for the ordeal his wife is being put through, all he feels is major arousal…and, strangely, from the jealousy he feels seeing his dad being granted more viewing and feeling rights than he ever had!
   
  And this jealousy is made even worse when a young lifeguard comes over and checks Juliet over just as intimately—explaining that she has a case of sea lice, which he treats by dabbing her with medicine very nearly everywhere.
   
  By now, Derek is seething in envy and arousal. Thank God his shaken wife just wants to go home because this hugely horny hubby has big plans for her—plans that will not only satisfy his envy-tinged arousal but teach her a thing or two about the joys of giving her husband what he’s always wanted—and more!

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  Text Me on Tuesday - All is Fair...

  Melanie Summers, Whitney Dineen

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  When Aimee Tompkins loaded up her old catering van and pulled into Manhattan, she had her sights set on becoming one of the best (and most lucrative) caterers to ever serve crudités and creampuffs in the Big Apple. But after a year of leaving fliers all over town, she's not only running out of money, she's running low on hope. So when she lands a gig at a big architecture firm, Aimee's certain her luck is about to change. 
   
   
   
  Noel Fitzwilliam is pitching the most important project of his life—the type of project architects dream of. Everything has to go right, so when he finds the new caterer naked in his office bathroom right before the meeting, he's torn between being thrilled and being extremely irritated. He doesn't have time for romance, no matter how incredible she looks without her clothes on. 
   
   
   
  A mix-up means Aimee is accidentally given his cell number instead of his assistant's. So when she starts texting Noel about how much she hates him, he decides to have a little fun with her. The last thing he expects is for her to turn his world upside-down. But that's exactly what happens as the pair start sharing their deepest secrets and their greatest fears, and Noel discovers he can share so much more via text than he can in person. But what will happen when she finds out who he really is?

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