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  Mortimer

  M.W. Cedars

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  This is a story about Mortimer Ascariot, a 1920’s elephantine misanthrope who builds bottle boats, takes meticulous care of his lapel, and dallies on the fringe of reality and fantasy. The novel is set in a pretty little port called Georgetown, South Carolina at the start of the prohibition. 
  Mortimer’s father, a philandering titan in the shipping business, has been murdered, leaving Mortimer as the unbefitting benefactor of the Centennial Shipping Line. However, Mortimer’s singular mission in life is to attain the title Admiral (issued by the Bottle Boat Club of Chicago) and remove himself from society. 
  Throughout this absurdist comedy, Mortimer finds himself victim to a series of compromising situations: injustice at the hand of the United States Post Office, bamboozled by a speakeasy disguised as a protestant church, arrested by the Georgetown precinct, mayhem at the hands of his road-kill eating relatives from West Virginia, and thrust into match-making attempts by his nanny, Mrs. Dixon. 
  Hidden beneath his trusty captain’s hat, but betrayed by his bushy and emotive mustache, Mortimer copes with discomfort by leaning into his surrealist fantasies about the largest and most illustrious boat of the 1900s: Her Mistress, The Esquirer. 
  Whether related to injustices at the hands of those that would disturb his artistic process, unwanted physical contact from the doting Lilly Lou Longhorn, or his scheming narcissistic uncle, John Adams, who was named after the second president of the United States, a delirious mother who is infatuated with a mysterious man named “Eugene,” or being kidnapped by pirates, Mortimer is a story that straddles the juxtaposition between living a life planned out for you versus taking the risk of a life that embraces the fragility of human psychology.

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  Clear - A Transparent Novel

  Nicola Barker

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  On September 5, 2003, illusionist David Blaine entered a small Perspex box adjacent to London's Thames River and began starving himself. Forty-four days later, on October 19, he left the box, fifty pounds lighter. That much, at least, is clear. And the rest? The crowds? The chaos? The hype? The rage? The fights? The lust? The filth? The bullshit? The hypocrisy?Nicola Barker fearlessly crams all that and more into this ribald and outrageous peep show of a novel, her most irreverent, caustic, up-to-the-minute work yet, laying bare the heart of our contemporary world, a world of illusion, delusion, celebrity, and hunger.

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  Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - The...

  Anita Loos

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  One of the most popular novels released in the 1920s on the hedonistic Jazz Age, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes was declared the great American novel by Edith Wharton. Told from the point of view of a blonde flapper named Lorelei in the form of her diary, this novel follows her adventures around the world in search of a gentleman companion who can elevate her position within society. As Lorelei cycles through multiple men, she discovers things about herself and the way that she lives her life in retrospection—while also chronicling her changing moods and petty disputes with her brunette companion, Dorothy. Hilarious and a true classic, this revered novel transcends decades and continues to be relatable in this day and age.

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  The The Tassel Is Worth the Hassle

  Publisher Gibbs Smith

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  Looking for a little something to cheer on the new graduate in your life, celebrating a milestone, be it high-school or college graduation? Funny and poignant words and sayings of encouragement and empowerment will spur the graduate on to “make their mark on the world” or let them know that “we knew they could do it.”

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  Crucifixion's A Doddle - The...

  Julian Doyle

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  As Julian Doyle, the editor of Monty Python's film Life of Brian, watched the comedy teams attempt to be crucified, for the end of their film, he began to notice something was seriously wrong. Checking for images of the crucified Jesus, he found none. The first appearing nearly 400 years after the event. But, not only were there no images of Jesus but not one of anyone else being crucified. And it was not until the first image appeared in 420 AD that the vertical cross replaced the original symbol for Christianity, which was the X shaped Chi-Rho. Our well-known image was clearly an invention by commissioned artists well after the actual event. And that is what Doyle had spotted on the set of Life of Brian, that crucifixion could not, and does not, work, and in this book he describes why.
  
  With further research, he began to notice contradictions within the Biblical text about the death of Jesus, leading him to the shocking possibility that maybe Pontius Pilate did not crucify Jesus after all as all the evidence seemed to suggest that Jesus lived for a decade after Pilate left Judea. Now in this true life detective story Doyle astonishingly uncovers who was the real killer of Jesus Christ.
  
  Behind his jovial and playful style, Julian Doyle conceals a rapier wit with which he cuts and slashes his way through the whole of the crucifixion story with expert analysis, bringing clarity to the Gospel and revealing for the first time a way of understanding what may be the true story of Jesus.
  
  Leading Python Terry Jones has described Doyle as a polymath, and it is this extraordinary range of knowledge - coupled with a curious and accessible approach - that has helped lead him to his discoveries. Remarkable, challenging and possibly very naughty indeed, Crucifixion's a Doddle is a must-read for Python fans as well as anyone with an inquiring mind.In Crucifixion's a Doddle, the irrepressible Doyle uses evidence to form his persuasive case; such as the fact that no image of Jesus on a cross appeared for 300 years after the event was alleged to have taken place, and that the images that did appear were likely an invention by commissioned artists at the time to explore the likelihood that the story told for centuries may not be as accurate as previously thought.
  
  Behind his jovial and playful style, Julian Doyle conceals a rapier wit with which he cuts and slashes his way through the whole of the crucifixion story with expert analysis, bringing clarity to the Gospel and revealing for the first time a way of understanding what may be the true story of Jesus. Leading Python Terry Jones has described Doyle as a polymath, and it is this extraordinary range of knowledge - coupled with a curious and accessible approach - that has helped lead him to his discoveries. Remarkable, challenging and possibly very naughty indeed, Crucifixion's a Doddle is a must-read for Python fans as well as anyone with an inquiring mind."

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  Fifty Ways to Slay

  Jerry Belitch

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  Fantasia Seele has always been naive, but nothing can prepare her for the day she meets notorious serial killer Tristan Shay. Tristan leads a disturbing lifestyle, and has a dark past to go along with it. From the moment the two encounter one another, it's love at first sight, and the killer agrees to take Fantasia under his wing and introduce his new protege to his sick world. While learning more about her new man and the lifestyle he's created for himself, Fantasia soon finds they share the same violent tendencies, and bond over Tristan's preferred sexual method, necrophilia, becoming inseparable in the process.
   
  A parody of the wildly popular Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, Fifty Ways to Slay tells a twisted love story that proves no matter what your background, we can all be seduced by the dark side.
   
  Narrators include Stephanie Lehane, Jerry Belitch, Heather Lawrence, Anthony Arodo, Edward Jazznow, Jenny Lynn, Brian Ross, Alvan Rouida, Preston Welbourn, Aaron Lucas, Effram Sotolongo, and Amanda Walter.

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