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  The Chicago of Europe - And...

  Mark Twain

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  A collection of travel yarns, in America and abroad, that only the great humorist could spin. 
   
  With a sharp eye and an even sharper wit, Mark Twain is the quintessential tour guide to nineteenth-century America and beyond. Dispatches showcasing his caustic, gimlet-eyed humor will take readers on a trot around the globe, from Hawaii to the Holy Land to Berlin (“Europe’s Chicago”), and, of course, along the Mississippi River. 
   
  This delicious assemblage of 68 tales features Twain’s trademark style—a combination of breezy insouciance and droll barbarism—at its very best. 
   
  “Wandering around exotic places and among foreign people gives [Twain] the ideal opportunity to be his uniquely engaging self—not quite an innocent or a tramp but a curious, clear-eyed and totally American chronicler abroad: totally game, bewitched and appalled, funny and astounded.” —Kurt Andersen, New York Times-bestselling author of Evil Geniuses

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  Flirtation or Faceoff

  Leah Brunner

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  After getting my heart broken, I’ve sworn off athletes forever. Then my best friend has to go and marry an NHL player, and his teammate, Colby Knight, won’t leave me alone. Colby is a master at scoring (on and off the ice), and he’s not used to being told no. So he takes my disinterest as an invitation to pursue me even harder. I ignore him…until I realize I can use his expertise to help me get my crush’s attention. But now that he’s my dating coach, and we’re spending so much time together, I’m growing more and more distracted. I mean, those dimples? Very enticing. Just when I think he might be more than just a playboy hockey player, a blast from the past comes back and reminds me why I swore off athletes in the first place. Can I trust Colby, or is he just another jerk who will break my heart? Trigger warnings: cheating exes; mild language

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  Libra

  Taurius Shytius

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  "Like shyte through the Bull's anus, so are the days of our lives."     BEWARE!     DANGEROUS HORRORSCOPE!!     LISTEN AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!

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  Pulpy and Midge

  Jessica Westhead

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  Brian Lembeck – ‘Pulpy’ – takes life slow and steady. He likes his office job, and he likes his gentle, figurine-collecting boss, Al. He even likes the bitter receptionist, though he’s the only one who does. He likes his wife, Midge, too, and their ice-dancing lessons. Midge works as a candle-party hostess – she quit her office job when Al’s dog ate her pet pigeon and Al promised Pulpy a promotion.
   
  But when Al retires and the tyrannical Dan takes over, the promotion vanishes. And then Dan’s oversexed wife, Beatrice, takes a shine to Pulpy, and Dan starts to think Midge is one hot tamale. Soon, the receptionist is smitten with Pulpy, Midge can’t get rid of Dan and Beatrice, and Pulpy’s job is in jeopardy. For once, Pulpy just might have to take a stand.
   
  ‘A hilariously deadpan, wincingly funny take on one office innocent’s workplace coming-of-age. Brian “Pulpy" Lembeck is the new hero of the keyboard-and-cubicle set.’
   
  – Lynn Coady, author of Mean Boy

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  What Would Betty Do? - How to...

  Betty Bowers

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  Betty Bowers is a better Christian than you!In a world of reflected glory and shameless name-dropping, no one can touch America's most puritanical pundit, Betty Bowers. Betty is so close to Jesus, He's given her His loaves and fish recipe. And only Betty knows how many shopping days there are until the Apocalypse. As she is fond of saying: "If God created me in His image, I have more than returned the compliment!" In Prada and in prayer, Betty has devoted her life to bringing people the Good News: They are going straight to Hell. Thousands have aspired to emulate her joie d'apres vivre by logging on to her popular website, bettybowers.com. But only now, with What Would Betty Do? does she finally reveal her spiritual survival secrets. You'll discover how, come Judgment Day, to be whisked through the 10 Sins or Less express line. But first, you will have to learn how to vote (for God's Own Party, the Republicans), whom to hate (Lie-berals and other non-Baptists), and what to throw (a soirée -- and then a few stones!). "After all," warns Betty, "if Heaven is just going to involve running into all the people you avoided on Earth, what would be the point?"Unchic? Unsaved? Wavering faith? Wandering hands? A pair of $650 Manolo Blahnik pumps that won't go with anything? No problem! Just ask yourself -- What would Betty do?

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  Her Husband

  Anton Chekhov

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  Natalya Andreyevna Bronin (also known as Nikitin), a successful opera singer, is relaxing in her bedroom when her husband, Denis Petrovitch Nikitin, arrives. He has just been visiting a wealthy man named Zagvozdkin and is upset because Zagvozdkin wouldn't lend him money. Denis expresses his views on capital and business to his wife, who is tired and just wants to go back to sleep. The story highlights the dynamic between the couple, with Denis being loud and boisterous while Natalya is reserved and tired. It also touches on the theme of capital and business, with Denis being critical of wealthy people who don't invest their money. Read in English, unabridged.

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