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  Fourth of July Fireworks

  Gene Clements

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  Elmer is thrilled to be named to head up the annual Fourth of July Parade Committee by the mayor of South Branch! This doesn’t seem like a difficult position, until Elmer realizes that he will be in charge of selecting the young lady who will grace the Betsy Ross float, the centerpiece of the parade. The competition is fierce, and the young candidates and their overambitious mothers will stop at nothing to influence Elmer’s selection! Tilly believes Elmer is a little too fond of the unladylike attention these women sometimes lavish on him. Elmer feels it’s all in good fun. Fireworks ensue! 

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  Puns Spooken Here - Word Play...

  Richard Lederer

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  Q. What's a skeleton's favorite food?A. Spare ribs.Q. What was the witch's favorite subject in school?A. Spelling.Q. What kind of horse does a ghost ride?A. A night mare.Q. How does an exorcist keep in shape?A. He rides an exorcycle.

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  This is Not About You - A Menmoir

  Rosemary Mac Cabe

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  For once, these men are the objects; I am the subject. Me, me, me. 
   
  Rosemary Mac Cabe was always a serial monogamist – never happier than when she was in a relationship or, at the very least, on the way to being in one. But in her desperate search for ‘the one’ – from first love to first lust, through a series of disappointments and the searing sting of heartbreak – she learned that finding love might mean losing herself along the way. 
   
  This Is Not About You is a life story in a series of love stories. About Henry, with the big nose and the lovely mum, with whom sex was like having a verruca frozen off in the doctor’s surgery: ‘uncomfortable, but I had entered into this willingly’. About Dan, with the goatee. About Luke, who gave her a split condom. About Frank, who was married… 
   
  But mostly, it’s about Rosemary, figuring out just how much she was willing to sacrifice for her happy ending.

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  Definitely Above Average -...

  Garrison Keillor

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  From live broadcasts of A Prairie Home Companion.After the birth of Garrison Keillor's daughter, the stories, songs, and sketches on A Prairie Home Companion took on a distinctly parental bent. This new collection gathers the warmest, funniest, most affectionate examples: dance tunes and comedy with sound effects; songs featuring Chet Atkins, Leo Kottke, Beaussoleil, and other guests; Ian Frazier's much-requested "Lamentations of the Father"; and Garrison's version of "The Princess and the Pea." Garrison says, "I test-played this album for my daughter, who is three, and she jumped around a lot."Filled with stories, sketches, and songs recorded from live broadcasts, Definitely Above Average will delight parents and children everywhere.Contents:Oh BabyBananasChildren Go Where I Send TheeThe True Sad Story of Mr. FroggieBaby DanceKnock Knock Who's ThereEl HamboHush Little BabyThe Baby Says HaEstrellitaCount Your BlessingsBrownie and PeteThe Horses Stood Around/Powdermilk Biscuit ThemeTell My MaHappy One StepOh Susanna FantasyWheels On the BusSongs That I Love BestBaby BluesTell Me WhyThe Chord That Jack PlayedA Game of ChessThe Princess and the PeaThe Sound Effects Man Part OneThe Snow QueenThe Sound Effects Man Part Two

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  Acknowledgments - From...

  Becky Lucas

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  From critically acclaimed comedian Becky Lucas comes a funny, consoling and very candid collection of stories and essays about friends, enemies and figuring it out that establishes her as one of today's most original comedy writers. 
    
  There's no such thing as a perfect life, but there are perfectly hilarious moments. The best stories are often about the lowest points in our lives - the soul-crushing jobs, the bad boyfriends, the terrible holidays, the betrayals and heartbreaks. These are the stories I tell people to make them like me, but, more importantly, they've helped me learn how to like myself. 
  So this book is a collection of thankyous and acknowledgments: 
  * Thank you to an ex-lover who marvelled at the fact he could get hard with me, even though I wasn't up to his usual standard. 
  * Thank you to the coked-up real estate agent who, while lecturing me and my friend about the importance of travelling, fell down a flight of stairs. 
  * Thank you to the woman who approached me after a gig and told me she hoped her daughter wouldn't end up like me. 
  You've all taught me that you can't control who comes into your life or what happens to you, but you can decide just what it is you take from them.  
  HarperCollins Australia 2022

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  The Coming out of Dwayne Beesly

  Martin Lundqvist

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  A flash fiction story about the Hollywood celebrity Dwayne Beesly, who is coming out as straight and conservative to his woke, superficial mother.

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