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  Advice from a Country Farmer

  Roy English

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  The author of Don’t Whiz on an Electric Fence and When I Am an Old Coot spreads some down-home, hard-won, gut-busting facts.   Dishing out witty one-liners and old-fashioned country logic the same way an old camp cook dishes out beans and biscuits, Roy English’s Advice from a Country Farmer is simply this—no-nonsense humor and wisdom from a country gentleman schooled in common sense and kindness.   “Most farmers work only half a day; the other twelve hours they do other stuff.”“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”“Don’t skinny dip with snapping turtles.” “Horsepower is no substitute for horse sense.”“The only farmers who sleep late are in the cemetery.” “Nobody works harder than a farmer, except maybe a farmer’s wife.”

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  Taxi Driver Wisdom

  Risa Mickenberg

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  “Insights on love, pleasure, fate, and other topics” collected from conversations with New York City cabbies (AM New York). 
   
  The worse a town’s economy is, the better looking the guys who work at the local gas station are. 
   
  I see more of what is going on around me because I am not concerned with finding a parking place. 
   
  There is no chivalry. For that you have to go upstate. 
   
  Real taxi drivers know more than how to get you there without a GPS—often, they know how to get you there in life. This twentieth anniversary edition of the wise and hilarious classic, as true now as ever, is a celebration of the witty, philosophical perspective on human nature culled from real quotations from real cab drivers who’ve been around the block.

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  In a Steamer Chair and Other...

  Robert Barr

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  Thirteen short stories by one of the most famous writers in his day. Robert Barr was a British Canadian short story writer and novelist, born in Glasgow, Scotland. In London of the 1890s Barr became a more prolific author - publishing a book a year - and was familiar with many of the best selling authors of his day, including Bret Harte and Stephen Crane. Most of his literary output was of the crime genre, then quite in vogue. When Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories were becoming well known, Barr published in the Idler the first Holmes parody, "The Adventures of Sherlaw Kombs" (1892), a spoof that was continued a decade later in another Barr story, "The Adventure of the Second Swag" (1904)(For these two stories, see in LibriVox Barr's The Triumphs of Eugène Valmont). Despite the jibe at the growing Holmes phenomenon Barr and Doyle remained on very good terms. Doyle describes him in his memoirs Memories and Adventures as, "a volcanic Anglo - or rather Scot American, with a violent manner, a wealth of strong adjectives, and one of the kindest natures underneath it all." (Summary by Wikipedia and David Wales)

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  Abbott and Costello: Lou the...

  John Grant, Bud Abbott

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  Abbott and Costello are working as fireman. Mrs. O'Lay Hee's house is on fire. Abbott explains vitamins to Costello (vitamins go from A to H...go to H?).

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  Thirst

  Ken Kalfus

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  This acclaimed short story collection “veers between whimsical postmodern playfulness and a darker realism [with] sophisticated comic flare” (Publishers Weekly). 
   
  Distinguished by black comedy and an international perspective, Ken Kalfus’ stories demonstrate the author’s chameleon-like ability to change mode, manner, and voice. They often concern the abrupt dislocation of people bumping into different cultures, be they real, hallucinated, dreamed, or desired. 
   
  Kalfus’ characters — which include an endless line of refugees fleeing Sarajevo with no particular destination; an Irish au pair plagued by her own psychosexual fears in a Paris science museum; and an entirely fictitious baseball league — are constantly thumping their heads against a shifting reality. These sympathetic portraits of human beings caught in the tectonic cultural shifts that disrupt our lives are frequently hilarious, consistently touching, and powerfully creative. 
   
  “A book for people who piss and moan about the unpromising future of American fiction.” —David Foster Wallace

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  The Second Biggest Nothing - A...

  Colin Cotterill

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  A death threat to Dr. Siri and all his friends sends the ex-coroner down memory lane. From Paris in the '30s to war-torn Vietnam in the '70s, Dr. Siri must mine his past to figure out who's trying to kill him now.Vientiane, 1980: For a man of his age and in his corner of the world, Dr. Siri, the 76-year-old former national coroner of Laos, is doing remarkably well — especially considering the fact that he is possessed by a 1,000-year-old Hmong shaman. That is, until he finds a mysterious note tied to his dog's tail. The death threat is not just aimed at him, but at everyone he holds dear. And whoever wrote the note claims the job will be executed in two weeks.Thus, at the urging of his wife and his motley crew of faithful friends, Dr. Siri must figure out who wants him dead, prompting him to recount three incidents over the years: an early meeting with his lifelong pal Civilai in Paris in the early '30s, a particularly disruptive visit to an art museum in Saigon in 1956, and a prisoner of war negotiation in Hanoi at the height of the Vietnam War in the '70s. There will be grave consequences in the present if Dr. Siri can't decipher the clues from his past.

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