Aaron Schuyler is a ne'er-do-well, a cheat, an exploiter, a drunk, and a lifelong New Yorker. New Mexico is about to change everything about Schuyler, in this fresh and witty comedy about second chances and redemption.
At 52, Aaron Schuyler has destroyed his life and doesn't care. Professionally ruined, flat broke, and estranged from his ex-wife and children, Schuyler's only concerns are sponging free drinks by crashing funerals and staying on the good side of his primary money supply, his formidable British mother, Clementine. But Clementine has a plan. Praying for divine aid from her personal god, Winston Churchill, Clementine creates a Winston-inspired scheme to reform her worthless son. Clementine presents Schuyler with an ultimatum―she'll bail him out one last time, if he moves from New York to Santa Fe, New Mexico, and takes a job at the local Sam's Club. In New Mexico, Schuyler meets people unlike any he's ever known―the enigmatic Indian artist Lone Goose, the blue collar Sam's Club workers who accept him as one of their own, and the beautiful and no-nonsense Anita Chatterjee, with whom Schuyler is immediately smitten. For the first time in his life, Schuyler wants to be a better person―and as he rereads his diary of his past life, he realizes the extent of his failures and his misdeeds. Can Schuyler adapt to a life of responsibility? To a mature relationship? To New Mexico? To shaking scorpions out of his boots? Winston help him!
A light-hearted romantic comedy in twelve short scenes, set during a tea party in the home of Mrs. Amy Somers, a widow who is courted by the ingenuous and delightful Mr. Willis Campbell. (Summary by Ruth Golding)CAST: Narrator: Kim StichMr. Willis Campbell: Martin GeesonMrs. Amy Somers: Ruth GoldingOld Mr. Bemis: Lars RolanderMr. Roberts: SamECircleMrs. Roberts: AnniseMrs. Curwen: Elizabeth KlettDr. Lawton: Brett W. DowneyMr. Miller: Algy PugMrs. Miller: Laura C. HarringtonMrs. Crashaw: rashadaYoung Mr. Bemis: David LawrenceMrs. Bemis: Arielle LipshawMrs. Wharton: KalyndaMiss Bayly: Lucy Perry
Audio edited by Ruth Golding.
No matter what side of the Mason-Dixon line you live on, you will find Celia Rivenbark's hilarious observations about Southern living as easy as a tall drink of sweet tea on a hundred-degree day. In this latest collection of laugh-out-loud essays, you'll experience:The joys of remodeling TaraHarry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy DrewBritney's To Do List: Pick okra, cover that thang upHow rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach dayWhy French women still suck at competitive eatingThe truth about nature deficit disorderThe difference between cockroaches and water bugsThe beauty of BedazzlersAnd much, much more!Whether she's doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna's mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing.A Macmillan Audio production.
Mega-bestselling author Daniel Handler (aka Lemony Snicket) gives us his long-awaited new novel for adult readers: a dark, rollicking, stunningly entertaining human comedy.
A boat has gone missing. Goods have been stolen. There is blood in the water. It is the twenty-first century and a crew of pirates is terrorizing the San Francisco Bay.
Phil is a husband, a father, a struggling radio producer, and the owner of a large condo with a view of the water. But he'd like to be a rebel and a fortune hunter.
Gwen is his daughter. She's fourteen. She's a student, a swimmer, and a best friend. But she'd like to be an adventurer and an outlaw.
Phil teams up with his young, attractive assistant. They head for the open road, attending a conference to seal a deal.
Gwen teams up with a new, fierce friend and some restless souls. They head for the open sea, stealing a boat to hunt for treasure.
We Are Pirates is a novel about our desperate searches for happiness and freedom, about our wild journeys beyond the boundaries of our ordinary lives.
Also, it's about a teenage girl who pulls together a ragtag crew to commit mayhem in the San Francisco Bay, while her hapless father tries to get her home.
From an elementary school principal and popular YouTube personality, inspiration and humor for educators to tackle the challenges they face day in and day outGerry Brooks is an elementary school principal turned YouTube celebrity who entertains K-12 teachers, administrators, and parents across the country. He tells jokes with the kind of mocking humor that gets a laugh yet can be safely shared in school. After all, even great schools have bad days — when lesson plans fall through, disgruntled parents complain, kids throw temper tantrums because they have to use the same spoon for their applesauce and mashed potatoes, and, of course, dealing with...The Horror! The Horror!...dreaded assessments.Ranging from practical topics like social media use in the classroom and parent-teacher conferences to more lighthearted sections such as "Pickup and Dropoff: An Exercise in Humanity" and "School Supplies: Yes, We Really Need All That Stuff", Go See the Principal offers comic relief, inspiration, and advice to those who need it the most.
Something has gone wrong. We're living in an age of celebratory racism, extreme inequality, uncertainty and fear. We're governed by people who claim to be populist but who seem to hate everyone. There are idiots at the wheel and we're heading for a cliff in a big red bus and no one knows how to save us.Enemies of The People reveals who has taken us to this dizzying precipice. It provides the actual, non-alternative facts about Donald Trump, Nigel Farage, Vladimir Putin and their charming friends – and also explains where they got their crazy ideas. Why did people turn so mean? How did so-called social networks like Facebook become so very anti-social? Why did anyone think it would be a good idea to privatise railways? Just how much should we fear the robots? Why is no one doing anything about Global Warming? Why is no one doing anything about Boris Johnson either?This book explains all those vital questions and more.Remember, though – they say history is written by the victors and fortunately, many of those currently winning can’t seem to write more than 140 characters at a time. This gives us the golden opportunity to set the record straight and snatch back the narrative. But if we’ve any chance of victory, we first need to know our enemy.
Comic Kathleen Madigan delivers new material derived from time spent with her Irish Catholic Midwest family, eating random pills out of her mother's purse, touring Afghanistan, her unparalleled love of John Denver and more.
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