Have you ever thanked someone for helping you—or for saying something useful or nice to or about you? If so, you shouldn’t have. With this funny yet extremely thought-provoking essay, Mokokoma Mokhonoana scrutinizes the principle and the practice of selflessness, which is, as we all know, also known as altruism.
Don’t get him wrong. He, like most sane human beings, thinks that altruism is a beautiful thing. Having said that, Mokokoma, unlike most sane human beings, thinks that it is humanely impossible to be selfless. As a matter of fact, he strongly believes that human beings are inherently selfish. In other words, he is of the conviction that the primary—and in some cases the only—reason we did every single thing we have done is because we knew that one way or another we were going to derive something we need or want from either the deed or the end result of the deed.
In short, good people are good people primarily, if not only, for their own sake.
As a means to substantiate that controversial conviction, Mokokoma will put a few facets of man's life under the microscope—areas such as our relationships with our friends, those with our family members, those with people with whom we are in a relationship or frequently in bed, the relationship between employees and their employers, and the relationship between believers and God; and, as you have probably presumed after seeing this essay’s cover, he will also put people such as Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela, under the microscope.
So, if you read the first half of this essay, you are likely to think twice before thanking anyone from then on. And, believe it or not, if you are tolerant enough to read every sentence herein, you are unlikely to ever thank another human being regardless of what they have said to you or what they have done for or to you.
In essence, the main goal of this essay is to destroy the phrase “Thank you!”
Here is a book for anyone tired of speaking flat, colorless, homogenized English. Pennsylvania Dutchman Gary Gates provides a glossary, read-aloud section, songs, recipes, and more in this delightful, inwaluable” introduction to Dutch-ified English.Learn the meaning of rutch” and spritz,” what a clod” and a crotch” are, how to pronounce and make Cussin Rache’s Snitz and Knepp,” and what has happened to food when it’s all.” Spice up your vocabulary with delightful words and phrases, such as: Grex: To complain, moan. Ah, quit your grexing, you have a vonderful life.” Face: Belief, religious conwiction. Praise be! Rebecca has found her face in the Lord again!” Gruntbecky: An expression of hard going. Gruntbecky! It’s difficult to run in this hot sun.” Nix nootz: A devilish, mischievous person. Our daughter is a little nix nootz.” Rupdawn: A massage. A good rupdawn will take the ache away.”Tired of trying to conform to traditional speech patterns, Gary offers a warm and funny celebration of the unique Dutch culture in America.
An American engineer journeys to the tropics to build a bridge and reclaim his manhood in this brilliant tragicomedy written during the height of the Cold War Fleeing two bad marriages and the sneaking suspicion that failure is his destiny, Bernard Morrison boards a flight bound for a freshly liberated country in desperate need of infrastructure. When the plane finally touches down, the pilot has happy news: The airport and the capital are not under attack. So far, so good, thinks Morrison as he heads for the jungle. The bridge he has been sent to build may be in the middle of nowhere, but the work requires discipline and fortitude—qualities long missing from Morrison’s routine—and his interactions with the native laborers and their bosses are refreshingly out of the ordinary. When he discovers a primitive tribe living near the construction site, Morrison revels in their freedom and lack of inhibition. He vows to protect the innocent tribespeople, not realizing that it’s too late—the bridge to the future has already been built. Part farce, part tragedy, The Outcasts is a powerful morality tale in the tradition of Joseph Conrad and Graham Greene.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. Remember the jokes you told in the playground? The ones you annoyed your parents with for hours and hours? The ones you secretly still find hilarious? This book contains them all, and more. Clean enough for children but funny enough for adults, Best Ever Playground Jokes is packed full of the stupidest jokes ever told. What happens if you pass out after eating too much curry? You go into a korma. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick. Containing a mix of well-loved favourites and brand new, originally written jokes, this rib-tickling book is an essential read for big kids everywhere.
Three Men, Little Alvin, and a Tonka Truck is an adorable caper of a story. It will tug at your heartstrings.
Little Alvin is a cute, blond-haired, blue-eyed boy who has the world at his feet. Though he could afford to buy all the toy stores in the world, his most prized possession is a Tonka Truck.
Little Alvin is a prince in the eyes of his minders. They love him dearly and are prepared to lay their lives down for him.
When an attempt to kidnap Little Alvin materialised one day, the three men in his life leap into action.
Will they come it out of their ordeal alive?
Graves Grove isn’t your ordinary town…
Nestled within the folds of the Canadian Rockies, Graves Grove probably isn’t the picturesque place you’d like to stay for long. Peculiar things happen here. The citizens seem normal superficially—they function well enough. But each one is deeply disturbed, wrapped in secrets and neuroses which drive them to strange behaviors.
And then there are all the missing children. And why is everyone afraid of that sycamore tree?
The Whispered Tales of Graves Grove is an anthology of stories taking place throughout the history of this mysterious town, from its founding to its future. Read them…if you dare.
Be careful what you wish for...
Once upon a time there was a fairy godmother named Desiderata who had a good heart, a wise head, and poor planning skills—which unforunately left the Princess Emberella in the care of her other (not quite so good and wise) godmother when DEATH came for Desiderata. So now it's up to Magrat Garlick, Granny Weatherwax, and Nanny Ogg to hop on broomsticks and make for far-distant Genua to ensure the servant girl doesn't marry the Prince.
But the road to Genua is bumpy, and along the way the trio of witches encounters the occasional vampire, werewolf, and falling house (well this is a fairy tale, after all). The trouble really begins once these reluctant foster-godmothers arrive in Genua and must outwit their power-hungry counterpart who'll stop at nothing to achieve a proper "happy ending"—even if it means destroying a kingdom.