Have you ever thanked someone for helping you—or for saying something useful or nice to or about you? If so, you shouldn’t have. With this funny yet extremely thought-provoking essay, Mokokoma Mokhonoana scrutinizes the principle and the practice of selflessness, which is, as we all know, also known as altruism.
Don’t get him wrong. He, like most sane human beings, thinks that altruism is a beautiful thing. Having said that, Mokokoma, unlike most sane human beings, thinks that it is humanely impossible to be selfless. As a matter of fact, he strongly believes that human beings are inherently selfish. In other words, he is of the conviction that the primary—and in some cases the only—reason we did every single thing we have done is because we knew that one way or another we were going to derive something we need or want from either the deed or the end result of the deed.
In short, good people are good people primarily, if not only, for their own sake.
As a means to substantiate that controversial conviction, Mokokoma will put a few facets of man's life under the microscope—areas such as our relationships with our friends, those with our family members, those with people with whom we are in a relationship or frequently in bed, the relationship between employees and their employers, and the relationship between believers and God; and, as you have probably presumed after seeing this essay’s cover, he will also put people such as Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela, under the microscope.
So, if you read the first half of this essay, you are likely to think twice before thanking anyone from then on. And, believe it or not, if you are tolerant enough to read every sentence herein, you are unlikely to ever thank another human being regardless of what they have said to you or what they have done for or to you.
In essence, the main goal of this essay is to destroy the phrase “Thank you!”
Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child.
If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book.
But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book.
I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.
The book is a metaphysical jigsaw puzzle, based on Yeats’ Vision and filled in with the clues Yeats left in virtually all his work. This system brings the cycle the Phases of the Moon, out of general theory into the specific and the particular. This book describes each of the twenty-eight phases of the moon--the motivation of the phase, its goal, and how the phase is lived. It also discusses tactics often used to avoid the phase's required work and the repercussions these tactics bring with them.
Each phase of the moon, each cycle, is unique, never before done, never to be replicated. Only you can judge yourself, and the information contained in Yeats' system actually offers the criteria by which to do so.
The Clutter Busting Handbook is a streamlined guide to uncluttering your life from the best-selling author of The Procrastinator's Handbook.We are the clutter generation, inundated by a seemingly daily or weekly influx of clothes, accessories, gadgets, catalogs, mail, and e-mail. Clutter crowds our lives, is a chief source of stress, contributes to sidetracked dreams and opportunities, and can cause guilt and anxiety. If clutter is a problem in your life, then Rita Emmett-herself a reformed clutterer-can help you tame it.
The Clutter-Busting Handbook is a concise, energizing guide giving readers insight and direction as well as proven tips, methods, and strategies that will change lives for the better. Emmett reveals:
- the four primary causes of clutter
- that cluttering is a habit that can be broken
- the powerful connection between clutter and procrastination
- how to help a pack rat part with unneeded objects
- how to prevent clutter from returning, forever.
As entertaining as she is helpful, Emmett offers practical advice on separating what you need or truly want from what you have been hanging onto for the wrong reasons. Her combination of experience and good humor-based on her hundreds of seminars and advice received from people all over the country-will win over the most reluctant convert.