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  We Thought You Would be Prettier...

  Laurie Notaro

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  She thought she'd have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years yet. But no-it's happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe "I'm going to kick his hair's ass" to the hapless Sears customer service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie's wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her-inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam, eBay ("There should be an eBay wading pool, where you only get to bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, and you have to make it through that first before jumping into the deep end"), and the perils of St. Patrick's Day ("When I'm driving, the last think I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens") are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it's all 100 percent true.

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  Green Carnation

  Robert Smythe Hichens

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  The Green Carnation, first published anonymously in 1894, was a scandalous novel by Robert Hichens whose lead characters are closely based on Oscar Wilde and Lord Alfred Douglas - also known as 'Bosie', whom the author personally knew. It was an instant succès de scandale on both sides of the Atlantic. The book features the characters of 'Esmé Amarinth' (Wilde), and 'Lord Reginald (Reggie) Hastings' (Douglas). The words put in the mouths of the hero and his young friend in the story are mostly gathered from the sayings of their originals. Robert Hichens spent nearly a year "in the company of the men" and was able to accurately recreate the atmosphere and relationship between Oscar and Bosie. The book was withdrawn from circulation in 1895, but by that time the damage had been done. Wilde soon stood three consecutive trials for Gross Indecency and was sentenced to two years at hard labor. The Green Carnation was one of the works used against him by the prosecution. (Summary by Wikipedia)

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  Everything and More - A Novel of...

  Geoff Nicholson

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  “A darkly comic cornucopia set in a mythic London department store” from the author of Hunters & Gatherers, “a comic satirist of biting precision” (Kirkus Reviews).   “Powered by a fast-moving plot, this latest exuberant fantasy concerns a department store, a female employee-turned-terrorist upon whom the reclusive proprietor exercises his droit de seigneur, and a porter who stumbles upon the hidden tunnels in which the building’s architect entombed himself in the 1930s. Nicholson has a wonderful ear for the unintentionally funny clichés of modern speech and manners.” —The Sunday Telegraph   “An off-beat tale with a sardonic edge, Nicholson’s brightly lit black comedy takes place in Haden Brothers, a monstrous London department store that is a combination of Harrod’s, Kafka’s Castle and the Marx Brothers’ The Big Store . . . An exhaustively entertaining farce.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)   “It is the black humor and the satire that win us over to Nicholson’s novels. Haden’s sexual romps, Chalmers’ desire to recreate Vietnam in the store, the greed of both customers and management and poor little Charlie Mayhew who finally discovers his art form (but how pitiful it is)—no-one is safe from Nicholson’s savagery. Read it and join Charlie, Anton, Arnold Haden and Edward Zander in a trip through the bowels of consumer society.” —The Modern Novel   “Nicholson’s minor characters—slimy personnel manager Derek Snell, paramilitary security chief Ray Chalmers, Anton Heath, the anarchist-wanna-be foreman of the work-averse porters, and Vita’s kleptomaniac mother, who worked for the store herself years ago—are small Dickensian gems, and Nicolson’s clockwork emporium provides a vivid setting for this very British yet universal comedy of modern manners and morals.” —Booklist

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  Howther goes Again

  Richard Cliff

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  The story is of a young rabbit who seeks adventure beyond his immediate surroundings. His search for fun taking him to America, where he meets all kind of other animals who lead bizarre lifestyles and where lurks the treachery of man. This leads Howther to take a grown-up stance against evil-doing, putting him at the forefront of danger among both, animals and man alike until he finally conquers all. It is a tale of growing up in a dangerous world.

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  NPR Driveway Moments Moms -...

  NPR

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  Stories from the National Public Radio archives celebrate moms and motherhood. Stories so compelling you’ll stay in your car to hear them through—even if you’re sitting in your own driveway. Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me! host Peter Sagal captures your attention with colorful tales for and about moms. Heard on All Things Considered, Weekend Edition, News & Notes, and other NPR programs, these stories and more are for moms, moms-to-be, and anyone who has ever known or had a mother.What is a Driveway MomentSM? Maybe it’s happened to you as it has to countless others. . . . You’re driving home, listening to a story on NPR. Suddenly, you find yourself in your driveway (or parking space or parking garage). Rather than turn the radio off, you stay in your car to hear the piece to the end. It’s a Driveway Moment.The NPR Driveway Moments Series collects these “best of” stories so that you are never more than a “play” away from a Driveway Moment.Contents:Introduction by Peter SagalMore Messages from Amy’s Answering MachineSolving the Mystery of Mother-Daughter SpeakMommy as a Role Model? Get RealBad MommyJust Mom and Me and Chuck E. CheeseSurprised by MomKnitting for Life, and for Life’s MilestonesLegislator Offers First-Person View of WelfareStoryCorps: Mother’s Magic, Stretching a Christmas DollarTamale Recipe Proves Hard to Keep Secret‘Chickenbutt’ and Other Lessons from GrandmaWho is Singing Me Lullabies?Mementoes Honor Sons Lost to WarIn Memoir, Allende Reveals Life to Late DaughterI Love My Kids—But Give Me a BreakMother’s Day vs. Fishing Season OpenerHidden Kitchen MamaMother’s Day RecipesStoryCorps: Special Memories of a Final Thanksgiving MealYoung, Single and Raising a ChildRocket ScienceMom Remembers Her Olympic PastTurning Into Your Mother Isn’t So Bad After AllA Partially Empty Nest, with Mixed FeelingsGrandmother: A Story of Aging, Decline and LoveThis I Believe: The Power of Love to Transform and to Heal

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  The Canterbury Tales

  Geoffrey Chaucer

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  This classic work of medieval literature features the pious and profane stories of commoners on a pilgrimage in fourteenth-century England.   One of the most famous works of literature written in Middle English, The Canterbury Tales were penned by Geoffrey Chaucer, who was widely regarded as the greatest poet of his time. The stories “run the gamut of tales known to people in the Middle Ages and include ribald stories such as the ‘Miller’s Tale’ and the ‘Reeve’s Tale’; medieval romances set against ancient backgrounds such as the ‘Knight’s Tale’; animal fables such as the ‘Nun’s Priest’s Tale’; Arthurian legends such as the ‘Wife of Bath’s Tale’; saint’s lives such as the “Prioress’ Tale”; and the “Second Nun’s Tale”; tragic tales, sort of, such as the Monk’s Tale’; and cautionary tales, such as the Pardoner’s Tale.’ . . . It is rightly considered one of the masterworks of English literature” (The Kansas City Public Library).   “A raucous read.” —The Guardian

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