Publisher: Gibbs Smith
Hard-won and universal wisdom from the ranch for those folks gittin’ up in years. Gems include: “Don’t spread your blanket where a cat’s been diggin’.” “It don’t take a very big man to carry a grudge.” “Every path has some puddles.”
Learn to embrace this delightful, powerful, humorous version of English—the mode of expression typical of Pennsylvania and German-Dutch descendants. Here is a book for anyone tired of speaking flat, colorless, homogenized English. Pennsylvania Dutchman Gary Gates provides a glossary, read-aloud section, songs, recipes, and more in this delightful, inwaluable introduction to Dutch-ified English. Learn the meaning of “rutch” and “spritz,” what a “clod” and a “crotch” are, how to pronounce and make “Cussin Rachel’s Snitz und Knepp,” and what has happened to food when it’s all. As you read this book you will not only learn how to speak better, but when an American Dutchman becomes president you will understand him when he addresses the nation in Dutch-ified English. “The German-influenced local patter known as Dutchified English is alive and well throughout the farmlands of Lancaster and several adjacent counties in southeastern Pennsylvania . . . Over the years, Dutchified English proved rich fodder for humorists, who performed under Dutchy monikers: Professor Schnitzel, Maria Budderfuss and Jakey Budderschnip. Hoping to inherit this audience today is Gary Gates, author of the two-volume series How to Speak Dutch-ified English.” —The New York TimesShow book
This is book 4 in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling Accidentally Yours paranormal romance series. Meet Dr. Antonio Acero. Heir to Spain's wealthiest family, world-renowned physicist, and dedicated bachelor. While on vacation in southern Mexico, Antonio discovers an ancient Mayan tablet. Local legends say it contains magical properties, properties that could put his stalling research on the map. But is this really his lucky break? When Antonio attempts to put the tablet to use, he'll discover that Fate has other plans. Her name is Ixtab, and she's quite possibly the deadliest deity who ever lived.Approx. 85,000 words. The Accidentally Yours Series BOOK 1: Accidentally in Love with...a God?BOOK 2: Accidentally Married to...a Vampire?BOOK 3: Sun God Seeks...Surrogate?BOOK 3.5: Accidentally...Evil? (a Novella)BOOK 4: Vampires Need Not...Apply?BOOK 4.5: Accidentally...Cimil? (a Novella) (Coming in January 2014)BOOK 5: Accidentally...Over? (Coming in August 2014)Show book
Stupid Address, as the title suggests all the addresses listed in this e-book are fiction. If you have time to laugh loudly, please do not hesitate to read this book. 100% guaranteed that you will fall off your seat or bed. Do not blame the author for non stop laughter. Caution: Laugh at your own riskShow book
It's the most wonderful time of the year, but Private Investigator Liz Talbot is struggling to feel festive. She hasn't seen her best friend, Colleen, in weeks and fears she may never see her again in this life. Meanwhile Nate, Liz's husband and partner, is spending money like he prints it in the attic on a mysterious family Christmas celebration. Liz's nerves are shot, and she hasn't even decked a single hall. But there's simply no time to fret.On a morning beach run, Liz spots a wooden rowboat run aground with Santa inside. Did Old Saint Nick have too much eggnog at the boat parade? No indeedy—Santa's been shot. And he's none other than C. C. Bounetheau, patriarch of one of Charleston's wealthiest families.Liz and Nate already unwrapped quite a few family secrets while searching for the Bounetheau's missing granddaughter last year—enough to make them swear to steer forever clear of the entire clan. But as Mr. Bounetheau's body is found in Stella Maris, and Liz and Nate are the police chief's on-call detectives, they're on the case.With no shortage of suspects, Liz and Nate dash to find a killer who may be working his or her way down a naughty list.Show book
Moving in with your man is a brave step: girls, arm yourselves with an air freshener and the number of a good electrician.This cohabitation handbook will prepare you for – and help you tackle – every irksome habit, such as chore-induced narcolepsy, things under the bed that a girl should never see, and a far from professional command with a drill.Show book
Photos of men like you’ve never seen them before: listening (instead of mansplaining), appreciating your crafts, loving your womanly curves, and more! Prepare to enter a fantasy world. A world where clothes get folded just so, delicious dinners await, and flatulence is just not that funny. Give the fairer sex what they really want—beautiful PG photos of hunky men cooking, hanging on your every word, asking for directions, accompanied by steamy captions: “I love a clean house!” or “As long as I have two legs to walk on, you’ll never take out the trash.” Now this is porn that will leave women begging for more! “Sure to bring a smile to anyone’s face and great for a giggle.” —The Book Zombie Praise for Porn for New Moms “Genius gift idea . . . (I’ll be getting one for each of the 10 baby showers I have in the next three months!)” —Glamour Magazine “It’s a book we wouldn’t mind sharing with every mother we know.” —Parenting.com “This new book from Chronicle has got to be my favorite baby shower gift idea this year.” —RookieMom.comShow book
