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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar - cover

Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

Kelly Oxford

Publisher: It Books

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Kelly Oxford is . . . 
A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds 
Not the queen of the world 
An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher 
The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush 
A born salesman 
Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20 
That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time 
Totally an expert on strep throat 
Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend 
A writer 
A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes 
"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four 
Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket 
"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert 
Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon 
A terrible liar

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