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Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
For the world’s sleepiest cat, waking up is hard to do. This book shows why Garfield can’t get up for mornings. To him, “Good Morning” is a contradiction in terms.
“A compendium of short, boring texts guaranteed to dull you into a peaceful slumber.” —Bustle It is sadly true that it is not always easy to fall asleep. This gently amusing, highly effective anthology of soporific dullness has been carefully curated to put readers to sleep as quickly as possible. With stultifying illustrations and pages of sheep to count, this giftable godsend for the under-rested features dozens of snoozy short texts, including “The Motion of Sand Dunes,” “The Administrative Bureaucracy of the Byzantine Empire,” “White Noise: A Technical Explanation,” and many dozens more—though good luck reading very far on any one evening. Insomniacs will also appreciate “A Staring Contest with Fifty Cats,” “Some Interesting Mathematical Theorems,” “The Dullest Entries from Interesting Diaries,” and other zzzzzzzz. “Often intriguing and a little addictive. For every line perfectly judged to knock you unconscious (‘Farmers and ecologists are among those who can benefit from a full understanding of the comparative rates of reproduction in insect pests’), there’s another to keep you up (‘There are no canals on the island of Guadalcanal’). You may well fall asleep after a page or two, but you’ll be back the next night for more.” —The Guardian “A book of soporific pieces on such fascinating subjects as ‘A Few Facts About Roundabouts’ and ‘How Rocks Become Pebbles.’” —Milwaukee Journal SentinelShow book
Mark Twain tried his hand at Civil War for awhile. He found it didn’t suit him. So, like “Ol Pap” in Huckleberry Finn he “lit out for the territories.” This is a famous old man’s memory of that brief youthful adventure in folly.Show book
This anthology contains a mix of mostly humorous short stories. It contains the following stories: Jared Pond Saves (and Deflowers) an Arabic Princess. The Meditation Camp. The Shooting at Dave's Mansion. Diah Lubis and the Polish Sausage Quest. Diah Lubis and the Pursuit of the Cave Truffles. The Downfall of the Virtuous Todd Connelly. The Deaths at Rosscairn Island. Jared Pond and the Guane Shaman. The Double Date. Diah Lubis and the Minotaur.Show book
"Rear Admiral Steve Kunkle, commander of the carrier strike force, grimaced at a Doonesbury comic strip from the Japan Times. It showed a Navy pilot thinking 'Oops!'" As Doonesbury shifts to a wartime footing, the strip's major players find themselves pre-positioned for the coming cakewalk. Weekend warrior B.D. leaves the Fighting Swooshes of Walden in the care of acting Coach Boopstein, returning to the sands of Kuwait as Camp Blowback's Public Affairs Officer. Among his charges: Roland Hedley, veteran of a grueling combat training program designed to keep media folk from getting capped. Offshore, the irrepressible Morale Officer Lieutenant. Tripler goes live ("Good MORNING, regime-changers!") to lift the shipbound spirits of his pre-swarthy charges, while offstage, Viceroy-in-Waiting Duke prepares to answer empire's call. Stateside, Mike takes up a flanking position on the sofa to log some serious CNN time, while the Reverend Sloan girds his loins for peace: "Look for us on TV-we'll be a million strong." Marching to the beat of a different cause, Zonker's old surfing mentor tries to enlist Z in a desperate fight to liberate Left Coastal access. Protests Zonk, "What can I do? I am but one dude!" Meanwhile, Jeff Redfern is but one CIA intern, yet he manages to launch a Predator drone and, using basic Nintendo training, knock out an Al-Q ammo dump. Also taking a hit, Trent Lott, busted for giving props to segregation. "I was trying to say I was down with the hood!" he backpedals, realizing too late that Mr. James Crow has finally left the house.With Alex declaring eco-jihad on SUVs, and Elmont launching a daily assault on coherence as on-line blogger "Jenny McTagart, Girl Pirate," it's hard to see a peaceful world ahead. But Jimmy Thudpucker can. Waging war on the recording industry, he and other filesharers have a vision of ultimate change de regime: "The suits die off, and Pepperland will be free again."
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Hi and welcome! The way we communicate nowadays, via email, WhatsApp, or Twitter, is different. That's for sure. But that doesn't mean our good old face-to-face conversation is out of date. This collection of 300 conversation starters will help you connect. The concept is very straightforward, and you will find yourself in a deep conversation in no time. Each question you are about to hear is followed by 3 minutes of music. If you are not interested in one of the questions, simply skip the chapter to hear the next one. If you need more time, pause the audiobook and press play when you are finished talking. What is inside:60 Questions to ask your mom60 Questions to ask your dad60 Questions to ask your kids60 Questions to ask your grandparents60 Questions to ask yourself300 Questions in totalEach followed by 3 minutes of musicStraightforward conceptShort introduction Enjoy! Oh and before I forget, you can find other editions from this series and a bundle.Show book
Mary of the Chance Encounters is a collection of stories set in southeastern Los Angeles, chronicling the Mexican-American and Anglo population stucco’d there between family, ghosts, strip malls and too wide boulevards. But their hopes and desires run magical, and sometimes weirdly perverse and erotic. The encounters break open the flat-lining air of consumer life.Show book
