Join us on a literary world trip!
Add this book to bookshelf
Grey
Write a new comment Default profile 50px
Grey
Subscribe to read the full book or read the first pages for free!
All characters reduced
The World's Funniest Football Jokes - cover

We are sorry! The publisher (or author) gave us the instruction to take down this book from our catalog. But please don't worry, you still have more than 500,000 other books you can enjoy!

The World's Funniest Football Jokes

Jim Chumley

Publisher: Summersdale

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Summary

What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?
 
He sent on his subs.
 
God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute.
 
God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn’t be a fair match because all the ‘good’ players go to heaven.
 
The devil smiled, replying, ‘Yes, but we’ve got all the refs.’
 
Football is obviously very serious business – like when that disallowed goal was 'never off-side', and that was 'totally a dive' – but it’s a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win.
Available since: 10/12/2017.

Other books that might interest you

  • The Shadow Man - A Novel - cover

    The Shadow Man - A Novel

    Sofia Shafquat

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    In this first novel, Sofia Shafquat combines the insightful humor of Cathy Guisewite with a fresh new literary voice and a quintessentially California milieu. She speaks to women of the nineties who still remember lifetimes spent waiting for elusive and resistant men. What makes them such shadows? What would it have taken to make them real?
    Show book
  • I Hear You're Rich - cover

    I Hear You're Rich

    Diane Williams

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    Diane Williams, "godmother of flash fiction" (The Paris Review), returns with thirty-three short, brilliant stories.In Williams's stories, life is newly alive and dangerous; whether she is writing about an affair, a request for money, an afternoon in a garden, or the simple act of carrying a cake from one room to the next, she offers us beautiful and unsettling new ways of seeing everyday life. In perfectly honed sentences, with a sly and occasionally wild wit, Williams shows us how any moment of any day can open onto disappointment, pleasure, and possibility.
    Show book
  • The Tyranny of Flies - A Novel - cover

    The Tyranny of Flies - A Novel

    Elaine Vilar Madruga

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    In this provocative, darkly funny, and unique novel—a mix of Lord of the Flies and The Royal Tenenbaums—a dictator's former right-hand man becomes housebound and a family power struggle erupts.  
    Growing up on a Cuba-esque Caribbean island, Casandra, Calia, and Caleb endure life under two tyrannies: that of their parents, and the Island’s authoritarian dictator, Pop-Pop Mustache. Papa was the dictator's former right-hand man. Now, he’s a political pariah and an ugly parody of a tyrant, treating his home as a nation which he rules with an iron fist. As for Mom, his wife and hateful second in command, she rules from the mind. Obsessed with armchair psychoanalysis, she spends her days reading self-help books and seeks to diagnose the kids, and perhaps even herself. 
    But within these walls, a rebellion is fomenting. Casandra, a cynical, self-important teenager with the most unlikely of attractions, recruits Caleb, meek yet gifted with a deadly touch, to join her in an insurrection against their father’s arbitrary totalitarianism. Meanwhile, Calia, the silent, youngest sibling who just wants to be left alone to draw animals, may be in league with the flies—whose swarm in and around the house grows larger as Papa’s violence increases. 
    Equal parts Greek tragedy and horror, with a touch of J.D. Salinger and Luis Buñuel, The Tyranny of Flies is a biting and wholly original subversive masterpiece that examines the inherent violence of authority and the frightening and indelible links between patriarchy, military, and family. 
    Translated from the Spanish by Kevin Gerry Dunn
    Show book
  • The Village Feasts - Stories of Food and Laughter - cover

    The Village Feasts - Stories of...

    Izzy Abrahmson

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    Ten Tasty Passover Tales (narrated by an Audie-award finalist) 
    “Charming…Readers young and old will be delighted…” – Publishers Weekly 
    “wryly funny” – Kirkus Reviews 
    “Ten sweet, silly stories of life… in the little Eastern European village… Binder brings a twinkle that makes the stories shine even brighter.” – USA Today Network (audiobook review) 
    Lead sinker matzah balls • A lost stranger • Cabbage Matzah? You don’t need to be Jewish to enjoy The Village Life. 
    “The eight days of Passover mark the transition between dark icy cold and warm sunshine,” Izzy explains. “In the village, the streets turn to mud, the weather is inconsistent, and for a whole week you’re not allowed to eat bread, only matzah. This is never easy, and so the villagers do their best to laugh and smile and complain, while they gather together to celebrate.” 
    The Village Feasts is an audiobook you and your family will listen to again and again. Rich with misadventures and ingenious solutions, the stories dance with a traditional feel around contemporary issues… 
    "Readers young and old will be delighted to meet Doodle the Orphan and learn about his penchant for cabbage, see Rabbi Kibbitz struggle to turn down delicious pastries, and witness the epic power of Mrs. Chaipul’s matzah balls when the town is threatened by a flood, among many other comic adventures." The Providence Journal 
    “The Village is snuggled in an indeterminate past that never was but certainly should have been, a past filled with love, humor, adventures and more than occasional misadventures. And when you go, be sure to bring the kids.”  –The Times of Israel  
    A stand-alone THE VILLAGE LIFE book by Izzy Abrahmson (National Jewish Book Award For Family Literature nominee), narrated by Audie-award nominated storyteller Mark Binder.
    Show book
  • The Wit and Humor of America Vol 05 - cover

    The Wit and Humor of America Vol 05

    Various Various

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    The Wit and Humor of America is a 10 volume series. In this, the fifth volume, 43 short stories and poems have been gathered from 32 authors. This volume is sure to delight listeners. (Summary by Linette Geisel)
    Show book
  • Mark Twain's Journal Writings Volume 3 - cover

    Mark Twain's Journal Writings...

    Mark Twain

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0
    This third volume of Mark Twain's journal writings continues on eclectic and varied path established by the first two volumes. Included in this collection are works that appeared by themselves in magazines during Twain's lifetime, as well as essays taken by editors and Twain himself from Twain's larger works, and re-published in collections of his stories. This volume includes the following works: "Buying Gloves in Gibraltar", "The great revolution in Pitcairn", "A Gift from India" [including editor's notes about Twain’s need to go on the lecture circuit, his authorship of Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc and other items], "From India to South Africa", "The Esquimau Maiden's Romance", "At the Appetitecure", "Edward Mills and George Benton: A Tale", "Does the Race of Man Love a Lord?" (Introduction by John Greenman)
    Show book