Peg Savage has contractually agreed to move to Key West, Florida. The smudged signatures on the damp cocktail napkin are irrefutable proof.
“An adventure…” her husband Clark says.
Peg can’t swim; she’s afraid of bridges (there are 42 of them); and she doesn’t want to leave her friends. However, after a bottle of Cabernet, a move from Chicago to the southernmost city in the United States seems like the best decision ever.
But now Clark has taken a long term job in Cuba and she’s on her own.
Neither her dog Nipper, nor the ghosts in the attic, offer up any good advice. But how hard can it be living in paradise?
Peg dives into island life but the more effort she makes, the wider her wake of catastrophes. She is tortured by a paddle board, a giant poisonous toad, the local Conservation group, and the patron saint of hurricanes. Not to mention the persistent sweat rash under her left breast.
A tropical depression descends on the island – one that can’t be cured with medication. Peg must gather her strength if she has any hope of surviving the storm.
Required reading from great poets of our time. Drew Barrymore: “Upon Pondering Breasts.” Tom Cruise: “An Exegesis on Psychiatry.” Ann Coulter: “My Kind of Fun.” And Trump and Sheen and Snooki, John Boehner and Michelle Bachman, Miley and Ke$ha. Hugo Chavez. Even a Zen haiku by Emmitt Smith:I think it’s his self- confidence in himself thatmakes him confident.With their great gift for curating the inane public utterances of celebrities, politicians, and other self-important loudmouths, Kathryn and Ross Petras offer a timeless collection of “found” poetry—real quotes formatted as verse for hilarious and surprising effect. The quotes are inherently addictive and funny—but turning them into verse intensifies the effect, making the words even more ridiculous, parodies to revel in. And the Petrases take it one step further: organizing the poems by themes, introducing each work with a Norton Anthology mock seriousness, discussing “schools,” and larding the text with footnotes, The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry is pure deadpan pleasure. A whiff of Emily Dickinson in Ann Coulter? It’s literary treasure, right under our noses.
Whether you re making a toast at a wedding, trying to break the ice at a party, or just want to make your boss giggle, the Ultimate Book of Jokes is the first and last resource you'll ever need. From road-crossing chickens and classic knock knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of over 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with 2-color line art throughout. Scott McNeeley, author of Ultimate Book of Card Games, mined decades worth of jokes to find chuckle-inducing punch lines for joke lovers of all stripes from yo mamma aficionados to naughty limerick connoisseurs.
“If one more person tells me about their third cousin twice removed who met the love of their life online, I’m going to take out my weave and eat it.”
Being single sucks! Well, that's what everyone says, anyway. Single women over the age of 29 are seen as lonely, miserable, undesirable, and cat-crazy. Family members, friends — heck, even perfect strangers ask, “When are you going to get married?” This book flips the script on what it means to be a single woman in the twenty-first century. With dating horror story anecdotes and advice about online dating, self-esteem, sex, money, and freezing your eggs, Andrea Bain takes the edge off being single and encourages women to never settle.
Everyone loves to have a tete-a-tete with a witty person. They are the life and blood of every party, event and social gathering. The present book will equip you with such gift of the gab.
This book, written by eminent humorist R.K.Murthi, is a collection of the most rib-tickling and thought-provoking definitions like - Don't steal, the Government hates competition.
Gleaned from the best brains of mankind from all times and climes, it is sure to pep up your talk and breathe life into your speeches, making you a rage at gatherings as well as satiating your quest for wit.
“An entertaining and fast read, making you want to read more.”
–My Train of Thoughts
There’s no time for a vote…
Sean and Sara’s popularity as a murder-solving duo has gained momentum since they retired from the Albany PD. But it’s not until a local television interview in which they meet Reanne Mable that they end up finding themselves involved with a truly high-profile investigation.
Reanne is the sister-in-law of Albany’s Mayor Davenport, and his daughter, Halie, has gone missing from her university campus. With his desire to keep the matter out of the media spotlight, Davenport turns to Sean and Sara to find her. But with the police already investigating the matter, taking this case would pit them against their friends from the police department, including their former sergeant Jimmy Voigt.
As time goes on, though, the fate of the girl is not up for debate, and the McKinleys set out to discover what really happened. With the mayor taking the heat for a recently passed zoning bylaw, maybe an enraged small-business owner is behind Halie’s disappearance. Or did she simply grow tired of living in her father’s limelight and run away?
To get the answers, Sean and Sara will need to use all the resources at their disposal and may have to call upon their good friend Jimmy for help.
Have you or Dad ever taken drugs? If there's a God, why does he let us go to war? Can I get my belly button pierced? Why were you and Daddy shouting last night? Mum, why don't you have a willy?
All parents know the moment. You are preparing the lunchbox or trying to pack the boot of the car, when your child comes up and asks one of those impossibly embarrassing, unanswerable questions... At last, help is at hand. Rather than palming the question off on your spouse, or burying your red face behind a newspaper, let Emma Cook give you the answers. Collected from her highly successful column in the Times - in which she seeks expert opinion to back up her own experience as a parent and journalist, Ask Your Father provides succinct, on-the-button advice to every question you could possibly have the misfortune to be faced with. This will make you laugh all the way to the school gates.
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