Life’s a Pooch is, pardon the expression, catnip for dog lovers. Its five riveting chapters comprise hundreds of celebrity quotes and anecdotes about everyone’s best friend. By turns funny, touching, surprising, and informative, it embraces every aspect of the human-dog bond and explores our furry companions’ sometimes baffling world and celebrates their impact on ours. Those quoted range from animal superheroes Betty White and Doris Day to Leonardos da Vinci and DiCaprio to dog trainers, Lassie costars, singers and actors, presidents, Walt Disney, and Martha Stewart--to name a few!Did you know that . . . Comparing canines with people, Marilyn Monroe once said, “A dog will never tell you to shut up”? Aldous Huxley explained the pooch’s popularity: “To his dog, every man is Napoleon,” while President Harry Truman advised, “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog”? For Renee Zellweger, “Finding exactly the right dog is a lot like falling in love”? Peanuts creator Charles M. Schulz felt, “Happiness is a warm puppy”? And singer Adele is happy to be “my dog’s best friend”? Poignant, silly, and heart-warming, Life's a Pooch is a must-have for every dog lover!
The rules change at 50! The New York Times–bestselling author and former SNL writer offers advice on living this stage of life with your dignity intact. If you or someone you know has just turned fifty, it’s time to accept that the rules of life have changed, and that fifty is not the new thirty for most of us. Leland Gregory understands the forgetful minds, sagging bodies, and flagging pride of his fellow middle-agers, and in 50 Things Not to Do after 50, he offers helpful—and hilarious—advice for combating the humiliations this stage of life can bring. In this lighthearted and sometimes painfully on-target book, you’ll learn that what we used to do in our twenties, thirties, and forties should be avoided at all costs from now on. For example, regardless of gender, under no circumstances should you ever . . . Attempt to wear leather pantsStart a story that involves a lot of names—you’ll forget most of them before the story is overStalk your high school sweetheart on Facebook; the person you had the hots for in 10th grade probably isn’t so hot anymoreGet drunk in Pamplona and decide to run with the bullsVolunteer to be a drug muleSay things like “fo’shizzle,” “whatev,” or “cray-cray”. . . And do we really need to mention thongs, Speedos, or jeggings? Leland Gregory, the New York Times–bestselling author of Stupid American History and America’s Dumbest Criminals, has been praised by Katie Couric as the “chronicler of Stupid America.”
A farcical comedy in which the protagonists maintain fictitious persona to escape burdensome social obligations. The play satirises social conventions of late Victorian London, and treats with triviality institutions as serious as marriage. The play opens with Algernon Moncrieff, an idle young gentleman, receiving his best friend, Jack Worthing (Ernest). Ernest has come from the country to propose to Algernon's cousin, Gwendolen Fairfax. Algernon refuses to consent until Ernest explains why his cigarette case bears the inscription, 'From little Cecily, with her fondest love to her dear Uncle Jack.' Ernest is forced to admit to living a double life.
“Sassy, sexy, endlessly entertaining, and full of laughs . . . one of those books that keeps you up at night because you can’t wait to see what happens next” (Tracie Banister, author of Izzy As Is). Book blogger Kim Long has worked tirelessly to squash the claim that “chick lit is dead” once and for all. Not bad for a woman who by day ekes out a meager living as a pretty—and pretty-much-nameless—legal secretary in Manhattan. But while she finds no passion in the day job, she finds plenty in the handsome associate down the hall. At least until her high school nemesis, mean girl Hannah Marshak, bursts back into town. Not only does she flash onto the chick lit scene with a hot new book that’s turning heads—and pages—but Kim’s afraid she’s turning the head of her handsome colleague as well. Adding salt to her wounded heart, Hannah’s book has popped into Kim’s inbox—along with a request for review. With a mere click of her mouse, Kim can deliver a nasty one-star review to thousands of followers. Or she could put on her big-girl panties and use Hannah’s success as a challenge to unearth a dream that she’s kept hidden for years . . . “What a fun page-turning book this was!” —Katie Oliver, bestselling author of the Dating Mr. Darcy Series “I consider it the Girls Just Want to Have Fun of books.” —Chick Lit Central “What a fun book. The characters were incredibly well-written . . . Schorr is a talented author and I’m glad she has other books out for me to read! I’m definitely a fan!” —Becky Monson, bestselling author of the Spinster Series
My Kid Is an Asshole, and So Is My Dog
-- a comedic look at the drama of raising a teenage girl
I just returned from the mall after school shopping with my soon-to-be sophomore and her friend. I now understand why fathers opt to go camping, roll around in elk urine, and shit in a hole rather than go to the mall three days before school starts. As if the crowds weren't bad enough, my girl decided to wear a flannel that hung lower than her shorts, making it appear that she was walking around naked from the waist down.
She was flocked by sales people, who, I am sure, were calculating their commissions in their heads. I mean, why not? Everybody wants to help the girl who arrives pant-less. Obviously, she needs clothes.
We're not home half an hour and the vodka I poured for myself is only half gone when she yells down from her room, "Mom, have you seen my push up bra? Maybe we need to go back to the mall."
It's the moments like these where I'm convinced raising a teen is bullshit, and I wonder if we'll ever come out on the other side even speaking to one another. Pass the vodka.
There aren't enough warnings in the world for raising teenage girls. Although my mom swears my daughter takes after me, so it's karma.
Is it karma that I've got two barking dogs? It must be. Have you ever heard a shiu-tzu bark? I have. Over and over. They think they're coyotes. I swear. And right now, they're wrestling over some stuffed animal, which is surely about to fling open, so I can pick up little beads all over the carpet while drinking my vodka. No wait. They stopped. One of them had to drag its ass across the floor. Epic.
It's in the little moments where I earn my parenting badges—the faded stretch marks.
If this is my karma for being such an asshole to my mom, maybe we can get through this too. And if she pays attention in English, instead of scouting for a prom date, she can learn to write her own book—the sequel to this: My Mom Is an Asshole, but Not My Dog.
Guaranteed to make you grateful for the job you have and thankful for the one you don't. From Saddam Hussein Double to Telemarketing Script Writer to the guy who operates the "It's a Small World After All" ride, satirist Justin Racz has spanned the globe to find fifty jobs worse than yours, so we can all feel better about our own. Featuring fifty color photos of the awful, the pitiful, the hysterical jobs out there, and all their undesirable employment details, Fifty Jobs Worse Than Yours is the perfect gift for anyone stuck in a nine-to-five grind who needs to remember why it could be a whole, whole lot worse.
Wilde's dramatic masterpiece set in London. Many of the themes of An Ideal Husband were influenced by the situation Oscar Wilde found himself in during the early 1890s. 'Sooner or later we shall all have to pay for what we do. But no one should be entirely judged by their past.' The play opens during a dinner party at the home of Sir Robert Chiltern in London's fashionable Grosvenor Square. Sir Robert, a prestigious member of the House of Commons, and his wife, Lady Chiltern, are hosting a gathering that includes his friend Lord Goring, a dandified bachelor and close friend to the Chilterns, Mabel Chiltern, and other genteel guests.
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