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The following publication is a complete and itemized list of McDonald’s 2016 “Create Your Taste” campaign, in which individuals were given the opportunity to vote on specific burger combinations/ingredients, as well as name them accordingly. Naturally, the internet completely ran the whole event into the ground. Sebastian Schug Publishing © does not assume any copyrights, trademarks, and otherwise associative elements of the McDonald’s corporation, as well as any of its perceivable brands/brand names. Any names and/or likenesses are recorded for the sole purpose of humorist comedy, and informational satire.Show book
The Third Policeman - A Novel
One man wants to publish, so another must perish, in this darkly witty philosophical novel by “a spectacularly gifted comic writer” (Newsweek). The Third Policeman follows a narrator who is obsessed with the work of a scientist and philosopher named de Selby (who believes that Earth is not round but sausage-shaped)—and has finally completed what he believes is the definitive text on the subject. But, broke and desperate for money to get his scholarly masterpiece published, he winds up committing robbery—and murder. From here, this remarkably imaginative dark comedy proceeds into a world of riddles, contradictions, and questions about the nature of eternity as our narrator meets some policemen with an obsession of their own (specifically, bicycles), and engages in an extended conversation with his dead victim—and his own soul, which he nicknames Joe. By the celebrated Irish author praised by James Joyce as “a real writer, with the true comic spirit,” The Third Policeman is an incomparable work of fiction. “’Tis the odd joke of modern Irish literature—of the three novelists in its holy trinity, James Joyce, Samuel Beckett and Flann O’Brien, the easiest and most accessible of the lot is O’Brien. . . . Flann O’Brien was too much his own man, Ireland’s man, to speak in any but his own tongue.” —The Washington PostShow book
Radiant Shimmering Light
A nuanced satire--both hilarious and disconcerting--that probes the blurred lines between empowerment, spirituality, and consumerism in our online lives. Lilian Quick is 40, single, and childless, working as a pet portrait artist. She paints the colored light only she can see, but animal aura portraits are a niche market at best. She's working hard to build her brand on social media and struggling to pay the rent. Her estranged cousin has become internet-famous as "Eleven" Novak, the face of a massive feminine lifestyle empowerment brand, and when Eleven comes to town on tour, the two women reconnect. Despite twenty years of unexplained silence, Eleven offers Lilian a place at The Temple, her Manhattan office. Lilian accepts, moves to New York, and quickly enrolls in The Ascendency, Eleven's signature program: an expensive, three-month training seminar on leadership, spiritual awakening, and marketing. Eleven is going to help her cousin become her best self: confident, affluent, and self-actualized. In just three months, Lilian's life changes drastically: She learns how to break her negative thought patterns, achieves financial solvency, grows an active and engaged online following, and builds authentic friendships. She finally feels seen for who she really is. Success! . . . But can Lilian trust everything Eleven says? This compelling, heartfelt satire asks us: How do we recognize authenticity when storytelling and magic have been co-opted by marketing?Show book
The Papaya King
"An eccentric outsider is baffled by contemporary Manhattan in this engrossing second novel" by Adam Pelzman. —Kirkus Reviews Bobby Walser’s tragic childhood has left him a man frozen in time and mired in a world of his own making—one that has little in common with reality. Genteel and old-fashioned, his manners and habits are more suited to an aristocrat from a Chekhov play than to a young man on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Haunted by his failure to live up to the legacy of his great father, Walser’s sense of ineffectuality is compounded when he suffers a series of deflating professional setbacks. He’s baffled by the people around him, and his only solace is the hope of a romance—conducted via handwritten letters—with a mysterious woman who may not even exist. As his despair with twenty-first century life reaches a breaking point, Walser bristles at a newly constructed sculpture that represents everything he loathes about these times. Realizing that he has more to care about—and fight for—outside himself, he marches toward a final showdown with this towering symbol of oppressive technology. "This is another entrancing, deeply memorable offering from Pelzman … Devilishly sharp social commentary." —Kirkus ReviewsShow book
I Blame Morrissey - My...
You wouldn't let song lyrics rule your life would you? You wouldn't become so infatuated with a pop star that you would use their words to make decisions on your relationships would you? Jay would. Join him as he tries to grow up in the 90s in a haze of lust, indie-pop & warm lager while all the time looking to Morrissey for guidance.Show book
Give Me Coffee and No One Gets...
The eyelids go up when the coffee goes down! Make the bean scene with java junkie Garfield in this little book guaranteed to perk up your day!Show book